


To Have and to Hold

by vivilove



Series: Match Days [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute Kids, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Friendship, Las Vegas Wedding, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23504101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/pseuds/vivilove
Summary: Theon and Rhaenys are getting married and Jon and Sansa couldn't be happier for them but, while Jon and Sansa's daughters are excited by the prospect of a big wedding, with Rhaegar and Balon as the fathers of the bride and groom, no one else is.Nothing wrong with a wedding in Vegas, right?
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Rhaenys Targaryen
Series: Match Days [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1456750
Comments: 177
Kudos: 147





	1. The (Mostly) Happy Couple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jade_Masquerade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Masquerade/gifts), [Descend_N2_Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Descend_N2_Madness/gifts), [Kit_Kat21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kit_Kat21/gifts).



> For Jade who first encouraged me to write Theon and Rhae's wedding, for Descend who wanted that 'Decent Dudes with Bad Dads' book to be a reality but will hopefully enjoy this and for Katie who loves everyone in this series...but maybe Mina a little bit more :)
> 
> Reminder that in this 'verse, there is no Aegon so Rhaenys is Elia's only child. Also, this starts during the time frame of Part 3 of this series where the girls are eleven and finishing up at Chelsea Elementary and then heads into that summer but it's not necessary to have read that part to follow this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been meaning to write this for a while because I've really missed this extended family. It should be a fairly short multichapter and I hope some of you will enjoy it :) 
> 
> Special shoutout to Tanya for reading this first chapter over for me!

_“Oh my God! Yes,Theon!”_ she’d cried so happy when he’d managed to get the words out.

Will you marry me?

Four little words.

Who would’ve pictured uttering just four words of the English language being so daunting when strung together? (And not to be TMI but he’d been damn close to shitting himself with nerves just asking.)

But he had managed to ask and the look on her face when he’d slipped the ring on her finger had been worth every ounce of his anxiety the past three weeks.

However, after the kissing and kissing away of tears followed by more kissing (with a little fondling because fuck yeah, they were both in love and excited by this upcoming change in their relationship status after nearly three years of dating), when they’d got to talking about everything this meant for them with their families, especially with their rather fucked up family dynamics, they’d agreed to keep things on the quiet for a little bit.

 _“Just for now. Just until we figure out what we'd prefer we could keep it between us. You know…with our parents and all,”_ Rhae had said.

_Our parents and all._

Yeah, that was certainly a big ‘and all.’ Jon’s mother would probably call it a bit of a sticky wicket. Or a potential shit show of a disaster. Grams could get rather colorful with the expressions when the grandkids weren’t around.

But now, less than twenty-four hours after that conversation, he’d already gone and done it. He really did need someone to come along and sew his mouth shut apparently. If he wasn’t getting deeper in debt to the Swear Jar, he was spilling things that weren’t meant to be spilled just yet.

_It’s not my fault that the phone was on speaker in the car when the girls were riding with me and Rhae called!_

_Yeah but you said that word._

“Just ignore that!” he begged.

“But you called her your fiancée! You wouldn’t be calling her your fiancée just because!” Mina squealed with excitement.

“ _Uhhh_ …” The cat was out of the bag now and wouldn’t be going back in, not with Jon and Sansa’s girls all ears in the backseat.

“Are you really getting married to Aunt Rhae?!” Lyarra shouted, hopping up and down in place.

“Well…um, I did propose. I gave your aunt a ring and she said yes so…yeah, we're getting married.”

“So a wedding then? Oh, will it be a big wedding?!” Minisa Hardyng was eleven and loved all things related to romance. She was definitely excited at the prospect of him and Rhaenys having a big wedding.

“Will you have fancy food there, Uncle Theon? You could do pizza or chicken wings. I think that’s fancy enough.” Lyarra Snow who had also recently turned eleven was a pragmatist, preferring foods she would eat without gagging on hand.

Meanwhile, Theon was not excited by the prospect of a big wedding. “I suppose we’ll have a ceremony…of sorts.” He didn’t even want to use the W word. A wedding? Why did just that word make his heart skip a beat in a scary way?

It wasn’t about Rhae. He was all for marrying Rhae. He’d been thinking this way for some time now.

_Since the day Jon introduced me to his half-sister._

No, not that long precisely but yeah, he’d carried a bit of a torch for Rhaenys from the day they'd met even as a he’d been indulging in a footloose singleton lifestyle through college and most of his twenties, never imagining she’d ever look at him that way. Once she had though, well…everything had changed. 

And he was happy. God, so happy. Like a freaking cartoon character bouncing off the walls happy...mostly. 

But her father, Rhaegar Targaryen, was a difficult man to say the least. _Or we could use my preferred term, an asshole._ And he wasn't too keen on Theon as his daughter’s boyfriend. Who knew what he’d be saying about them marrying?

And Jon Snow was his best friend. Jon was Rhaegar's bastard son and had been neglected by that man for 98% of his childhood and adolescence except when Rhaegar had the urge to play dad to his son. Jon's friendship meant a lot to Theon. Jon, who had made the decision a while back to cut Rhaegar out of his life (a damn fine decision in Theon’s opinion). 

So, it’d be Tension City if Rhaenys got walked down the aisle by Rhaegar while Jon stood next to Theon as Best Man. Yeah, they were grown up enough to handle it for the length of a short ceremony for Theon and Rhaenys’ sake (at least Jon was) but there was no way it wouldn’t be awkward as fuck.

And then, there was Theon’s own father…

There was no way in hell Theon wanted his pop at any sort of major life event at this point to be honest including his w-ww-wwed-wedding. _There, I thought the word_. But actually _telling_ the old man that would be it's own uncomfortable conversation. _'A Decent Dude Cursed with a Bad Dad,’ my upcoming autobiography_.

He figured Jon could help co-write that book with him. Actually, their friend Sam Tarly could contribute, too. _Or we could just make him write it. Even with Jon being an educator, Sam's definitely the most likely to write a book of the three of us. I can sign autographs and collect the royalty checks and such._

Seriously, he _could_ write a book about some of the shit his father had pulled over the years, not to mention how he'd behaved when he'd finally met Rhae last month. _There’s a reason my mother put the bulk of North America between herself and Dad after the divorce._

But back to Theon and his big fat mouth...

“Did Aunt Rhae really say yes to you?” Lyarra asked, a touch dubiously.

“Yeah, she said yes.” Lyarra mouthed a ‘wow.’ “Thanks for that, Squirt,” he said, reaching back to give her a noogie since the light was red.

“When’s the wedding going to be?” Mina asked as Lyarra was shrieking and ducking to get out of his reach.

“Uh…”

“Can we be in the wedding?"

"Well..." 

“We're experience flower girls!”

“Yeah, I know, Little Red. I was there.” They’d been flower girls during Jon and Sansa’s wedding. Them walking down the aisle in their little blue dresses, Lyarra dumping her basket in one heap and racing up to them while Mina carefully placed each rose petal so many inches apart with all the seriousness of someone working Mission Control, had been some of the cutest shit he’d ever seen.

“Where are you going on your honeymoon?”

“I’m not sure if we’ll…”

“If you go someplace cool, can we go with you?”

“No!” He had no trouble answering that one.

“What did Dad say when you told him?!” Lyarra asked.

“What did Mr. Targaryen say when you asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage?” Mina asked dreamily.

“ _Uh_ …shit.”

“Swear Jar, Uncle Theon!”

An hour later, he was watching Sansa whirl hither and thither around her kitchen preparing dinner while the girls played out back with their little brother while Lady and Ghost kept watch.

"How many stuffed animals can David carry at one time, do you think?" Theon asked as he stared out the window before taking a seat at the table. 

"How many is he carrying right now?"

"Three."

"Oh, I've seen him manage six small ones at time. He loves his little pals and unfortunately, he wants them all to come to bed with him every night."

"And how's that work out?"

"Sometimes, I can get him to pick two but sometimes, we hold a competition to see which pal gets to spend the night in David's bed that night."

"A contest?" 

"It's grown a little complicated to be honest but the things we do for love," Sansa shrugged. 

_Oof, too true._ For instance, if Rhae wanted a big wedding, he knew he'd agree. But did she want that? 

“Thanks for inviting me to stay, Sansa.”

“No problem. Thanks for bringing the girls home from practice this evening. Jon hated to miss but the PTSA meeting and all.”

"Yeah, I'll bet," he snickered. He knew that no matter how devoted to his job the principal of Chelsea Elementary was, Jon would much rather be out on the pitch on a beautiful evening in May kicking the ball around with their team. Jon had asked Theon to be his assistant coach spring before last when him and Sansa had been getting married. _And he's not shook me loose since._ "Can I help with anything?" 

"No, just sit tight. I've got it all in hand." 

He’d eaten his share of meals in this kitchen long before Jon had met Sansa. A lot of times, it’d been pizza or Jon would grill them something but he’d eaten Jon’s pot roast and broiled salmon a time or two…and laughed at Lyarra’s antics over the ‘yucky, blecky food.’

He’d also listened to Jon’s single dad woes in the past sitting in this room when Lyarra had been smaller than David even and giving him toothy, drooling grins from her highchair. And Jon had listened to his share of Theon’s whining here, too.

_Sansa's a good listener._

_Yeah but..._

He wasn’t sure if she’d understand this. 

If anyone had asked Theon Greyjoy about his ideal wedding five years ago, he would’ve said they were crazy in the first place if they ever thought he was getting married. But that was before something with Rhae had gone from just a daydream to a reality for him. 

He glanced at Sansa who'd been drop dead stunning at her own wedding. Jon's eyes had teared up when he saw her coming down the aisle and Theon couldn't even bring himself to give his friend shit for it. God, he had to admit a small part of him wanted to have a moment like that, too. And women loved weddings, right? Weren't most of them like sweet Mina at some point in their lives? Daydreaming about their fairy tale day? Mina was like a mini-version of Sansa in many ways. She'd probably think he was awful to be freaking out over the mere thought of a wedding when he was the one who'd asked Rhae to marry him. 

_But a wedding means inviting people, especially family...and there's the rub._

What the fuck had he gotten himself into? He just wanted to marry the woman of his dreams. Was a wedding required for that? 

Sansa started chuckling to herself as she looked out the window. “I think we’ve got about three minutes…”

“Three minute until what?”

“Until the girls come in here to tell me David’s taking his clothes off again.”

Apparently, Young David Snow was a little ahead of the curve for toddlers when it came to removing articles of clothing. He’d become a regular streaker as the weather was getting warmer, too.

“And what did we need three minutes for?”

“For you to tell me what’s troubling you,” Sansa said, turning back towards him with a warm, encouraging smile as she took a seat next to him.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Maybe a little. When I was trying to get the freezer door unstuck a few minutes ago, I said ‘I can’t believe how hard this is’ and you didn't even say…”

“That’s what she said!”

"And just now when I said we've got three minutes..."

"Baby, that's all I need."

“Yeah," she chuckled, "you missed some golden opportunities there.” She reached for his hand. “Is there something bothering you, Theon?”

Taking her offered hand, he felt joy all over again that Jon had found her and thankful to call her his friend as well. “Yeah. It’s actually something really great. I'm really happy...mostly. But I just can’t tell you why.”

“Hmm..." she said, thoughtfully. "Is it possible, Theon Greyjoy, that you've asked Rhae to marry you?”

“Holy shit! How’d you know?”

She laughed in a bemused manner and shook her head. “Wild guess.”

“Wow. Good guess.”

* * *

Rhaenys found a spot against the wall to be out of the way though it wasn’t terribly crowded in the library. Sansa had said she didn’t expect it to be when she’d called her earlier wanting to know where Jon might be this evening. 

_“It’s a planning meeting for the PTSA so it’ll mostly be the board members, some parents who are interested in taking on a more active role next year, along with Jon and a few of the teachers who were willing to stay late. Fair warning, Jon says two of the ladies on the board quibble and quarrel over every little item so the meeting’s tend to run long.”_

Sure enough, two women did appear to be debating more than discussing matters while the rest of the assembled group watched. But, just as it looked like they might roll up their sleeves for an all-out brawl, Rhae saw Jon stand from where he’d been seated and take charge of the situation.

“If I may, ladies, I want to again thank the Board for its support of Chelsea and all the hard work you voluntarily do to make our school a better place. Thanks also to all of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here tonight but we are starting to run past our time. And while I believe Mrs. Merryweather is correct about the need for more tablets in the classrooms, I must agree with Mrs. Crane that the repair of the damaged playground equipment is a more immediate concern.” The very attractive, dark-haired women who’d been in favor of the tablets started to draw breath but Jon continued, “We have nineteen more instructional days left this school year so nineteen more days of recess for approximately six hundred children and I know our children’s safety is the top priority of everyone present.”

The discussion carried on but, with Jon acting as mediator, it was far less contentious. Rhae couldn’t help but smile at her little brother. He was good at this though he claimed to hate being put in the middle between two sides. 

_Well, we both dislike that,_ she thought with a grimace. 

She had asked Theon that they keep their news between themselves last night but an unexpected call from her mother asking if she'd want company at lunch had ended up with her spilling the news. The rock would've been hard to hide and she had wanted to wear her engagement ring today. Just looking at it gave her a zippy boost of happiness. But then after lunch and after she'd expressed her uncertainty about what her plans were as far as a ceremony went to her mother, her father had called. She had spent the rest of her day at work a huge ball of stress, guilt and anxiety. 

It wasn't like she had these elaborate daydreams of a huge ceremony in mind but, yeah she had thought about it some and there were some things she wanted. She wanted her mother there for one thing but she didn't want to be handed a guilt trip about what she chose to do or who was included in the wedding party either. 

_"You're your mother's only child. Surely, you're not going to deny her the chance to enjoy this happy occasion with you by including him."_

The 'him' was Jon, her half-brother. Rhae had learnt of his existence when she'd turned eighteen and immediately sought him out a relationship with him despite their father's (and to be honest, her mother's) discouragement. And from the day she'd first entered Lyanna's house to meet her fourteen-year-old half-sibling, she'd never once regretted her decision. Her mother had come to accept her daughter's close relationship with her husband's other child and even shown friendliness towards Jon and his family. But her father... 

_Hold it together, woman._ It had been her mantra all afternoon. Her frayed nerves weren't holding so well by this point. 

She knew she could share this with Theon. He was always there for her and they were in love. They shared nearly everything with each other. They were going to become husband and wife, partners in life. But after asking that they wait to share the news, her pride hated confessing how quickly she'd caved and told her mother. She hated to imagine that look on his face when she told him how everything had kind of spiraled from there with her dad as well. He'd already expressed more than a little trepidation when it came to her father. How could she blame him? He'd not exactly hid his dislike of her dating Jon's best friend, especially after Jon's total break from him New Year's before last.

_Hold it together._

And then there was Theon's father who she'd met last month at long last. Despite all of Jon and Theon's warnings, she'd gone into their first meeting thinking it would be okay. She was a pretty confident, happy and well-adjusted person overall but deep down, she'd wanted the father of the man she'd fallen in love with to like her so she'd turned on the charm, hoping to win him over and maybe heal the breach between the two men since she couldn't do that for Jon and their father. 

He had certainly seemed to like her. He'd been all smiles and made a joke about how lucky Theon must've been the night he'd snagged a beauty like her. Yeah, maybe his comment had been on the sexist side but she'd decided to consider him 'old-fashioned.' 

Except Balon Greyjoy was old-fashioned in the worst possible way. 

When Theon had been out of earshot, Balon had point blank asked a racist question regarding her mother's family and their ancestry. Her mouth had fallen open, not sure how to react. He'd taken her stunned silence as all the answer he needed then patted her knee and said he'd love his grandkids anyway. 

When she'd admitted what was eating her to Theon that night, he'd blown up and called his father. Balon had acted like he'd been joking and said their generation was too sensitive. Theon told him to fuck off and then told him maybe he was the one who was too sensitive when Balon had blown up over that. 

_And you'll be related to that guy by marriage. Hold it together._

By quitting time, she'd been on the verge of a breakdown. She _hated_ crying at work but, when Theon had called her his fiancée earlier after picking up the girls, she’d gotten all misty and almost broken down. Luckily, he hadn’t seemed to notice with Mina and Lyarra in the car. He’d been taking the girls to soccer and she hadn’t wanted to become a sobbing mess over the phone and leave him worrying that she had doubts about him or getting married. It was just the whole idea of a wedding with her father and his there that had been working on her mind. 

So, she’d left work and come here to see Jon, hoping that a burden shared (especially with someone who knew the whole score) would be a burden halved as the saying went.

A decision was reached at last, Jon’s practical need winning the day and the funds for now with the agreement that all funds from the back-to-school ice cream social would go towards the desired tablets.

Rhaenys left her spot by the wall, her hands clasped together to conceal her ring as she started to approach Jon from behind. However, the woman named Mrs. Merryweather got to him first. 

“Thank you for your input, Jon. I’m afraid I tend to get a little carried away sometimes.”

“No worries. I’ll never complain about parents who are passionate about the children’s needs.”

“Yes, I suppose you could call me passionate.” 

She laughed, a sultry, musical sort of laugh and flashed him a dazzling smile. She proceeded to toss her hair. _Maybe tone it down a notch, honey._

"Right. Well, thanks again, Mrs. Merryweather, for agreeing to be president next year of the..."

“Jon..." she tsked, "how many times have I told you to call me Taena when the children aren’t around?”

She then laid a hand on Jon's forearm and leaned towards him. With her V-neck top, there was an ample amount of cleavage on display, strangely jarring under the florescent lights of an elementary school library with posters for Magic Treehouse and Junie B. Jones on the wall. 

_What in the fuck, lady? I know you’re not coming on to my married brother during a damned PTSA meeting._

Before Jon could reply, she carried on. “I’ve been thinking that we really should meet up to discuss the ice cream social and such.” That ‘and such’ sounded pretty open-ended. “We could go to your office for a little while tonight if you want…or maybe meet over the summer if your prefer…just you and me,” she added with emphasis as she stepped closer.

_Holy shit, you really are coming on to my married brother during a damned PTSA meeting!_

“Oh, I…uh…wow, it’s getting late, isn’t it?” Jon fumbled, stepping back and checking the time on his naked wrist. _Is it a hair past a freckle?_ “My wife is holding back dinner for me and we’ve got plans this summer…all summer long…every day. Have a good night, Mrs. Merryweather!”

Rhae covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She could clearly picture the expression on his face that would match his alarmed tone of voice. She also knew from talking to Sansa what a tightrope Jon walked with a handful of the mothers around here. He wanted to have civil relationships with everyone for the sake of the children. He was also an attractive man and a few of these women were more than willing to ignore his wedding band and their own if he was.

Mrs. Merryweather pouted as Jon whirled to flee…and ran smack into her since she was right behind him. 

"Ow."

"I'm so sorry! I..." His frightened hare look mixed with mortification over having mowed someone down unintentionally morphed into pleased confusion. “Rhae! What are you doing here?” he asked, giving her a hug.

Rhae took the opportunity to give Merryweather her Dagger Eyes while hugging him. It was satisfying to watch her scurry off to say the least. “Missed my little bro,” she said, playfully ruffling his curls. Normally, he'd roll his eyes when she called him that. This time, a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes met her statement. It’s not like she made a habit of stopping by the school. “Could we talk? I know you’re probably overdue at home but…”

“Of course, we can. I’ll text Sansa and just let me grab my satchel from my office once everyone clears out.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jon.” 

He waited for the group to disperse at last out the main doors and Rhae waited in the main entrance hall while he ducked into the office to retrieve his things. She glanced at the clock on the wall, 7:15. He’d likely been here twelve hours at least. She felt a ripple of discomfort asking for his time when she knew he’d want to get home to his family. He’d had a long day and her brother loved nothing so well as seeing his wife and children at the end of it. David was always in bed by eight, too. He’d probably miss his bedtime.

But if he had any reservations about giving his half-sister his time this evening, you’d never know it from the sweet smile on his face when he joined her again. Rhae felt a tickle at the back of her throat and sniffed. _Hold it together_. She was not about to cry on him. They’d talk rationally about her concerns and she’d feel better. 

Jon made sure the front doors were all closed and locked behind them and guided her towards the parking lot. 

"You getting hit on by the PTSA ladies often?" she asked, trying to joke around as they neared their vehicles. Her throat felt like it was closing up on her. 

"Nah, that was a new one. It's been a while since one's been that forward. So, what’s going on?” 

"Nothing much." He gave her that look again. He knew better. “I just…wanted to see you and…” The words broke off in a pitiable whine. Sometimes, things that truly matter to us are just so hard to vocalize without getting emotional. 

“Rhae?” He set his satchel down on the pavement by his Pilot and his hands cupped her face. “What’s wrong? Is it Theon?” 

She nodded and there was a sob, goddamn it. She could see Jon’s grimace. He was going to think they’d fought or something. She held out her hand, sticking the diamond in his face. “I’ve never been more happy!” The words came out in a pitch that only dogs three blocks away could hear.

His grimace faded and he laughed. “Oh, my God! That's wonderful! When did this happen?”

“Last night!” That same horrid, hysterical voice. 

“That’s great. My sister’s going to marry my best friend. I’m so happy for you both.”

“Thank you,” she squeaked.

"So, uh...I guess you'll be making plans and..." He scrubbed at his beard, an undeniable awkwardness descending. He knew exactly what was eating at her and it'd be eating at him, too. "When's the wedding?" he finally managed to ask.

 _So much for holding it together,_ she thought as she stumbled into his arms to cry. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we'll check in with the Snow Family where Sansa will propose a solution to the wedding dilemma and Mina will host a round of the Stuffed Pal Olympics for David.


	2. Problem Solvers

This could easily be seen as a chore, Sansa supposed, but it was really one of her favorite times of the day. Of course, ordinarily, Jon was here with her. Was that what made it seem less like a chore? 

No _,_ she decided as she started rinsing the mild baby wash from David’s curls. 

Much as having a helpmate by her side as they took care of their son was welcome, something that had been sadly lacking for the most part when Mina had been a baby, Sansa simply enjoyed bath time with her little one even if Jon was missing out tonight. And unlike Harry, Mina's father, Jon would definitely feel like he'd missed out by not being here tonight. 

She’d delayed bath time as long as she dared and still hoped that Jon would be home in time for tuck in but she understood why he wasn't here. Rhae had called earlier, Theon had said quite a bit in the kitchen before dinner and Jon had texted saying Rhae had stopped by the school unexpectedly and he’d expressed his concern in the text that something was wrong. 

Sansa could just about figure out exactly what was wrong. Well, it wasn’t that something was wrong. Not exactly.

_Everything would be ideal...if only their fathers weren’t such jerks._

"Daddy," David said, interrupting her flow of thoughts.

"Yes Daddy," she repeated, sighing to herself and eager to see him, too. 

"Daddy come."

"Soon, baby. Here's your ducky back."

David wasn’t a little baby anymore but he was still little and bath time was so much fun at this age. This was sweet one-on-one time with her baby. Yes, she had elected to stay home after David's birth, choosing not to return to her secretarial job at Chelsea Elementary nor enter the work force full time in marketing as she'd once planned on doing. Instead, she did a little freelance marketing work for the company where Harry worked, as they had a much more amiable relationship now after he'd confronted his alcoholism and stopped being such a self-centered jerk in general, and was proudly a stay-at-home mom the rest of the time, a luxury that hadn't been possible for her when Mina was little. But, with two girls, two dogs and a husband at home, it was nice in the evening to catch her breath with just David. 

“Mommy, sing!”

Of course, it was still parenthood so there were always demands of some sort being hurled her way. 

She picked up where she’d had to stop while washing David’s hair. 

_“Five little ducks went out to play_

_Over the hill and far away,_

_Mother Duck said ‘Quack, quack, quack, quack’_

_And all of the five little ducks came back!”_

David giggled, holding on tight to his little rubber duck. There was clapping behind her as she finished which made her blush. 

“Can you pass me his towel?” she asked over her shoulder. Theon nodded, a gentle smile on his face as she wrapped her sweet-smelling little boy up to dry him off. “Who won Scrabble?”

“They ganged up on me.”

“How did they gang up you?”

“Two against one.”

“They’re eleven. You’re thirty-three. You said they could be a team.”

“They know lots of words. More than I did at eleven…or at thirty-three,” he muttered to his feet. She snickered and he looked up sharply. “And they had much better letters. I think they felt up the tiles while they were in the bag, you know?”

“The tiles were felt up?” she snorted incredulously.

“Uh…you know what? Let’s just not speak of this again, okay?”

She nodded and they both laughed as he sat down on the edge of the tub. 

“Feon, sing!”

“Oh no, I can’t sing, Little Dude. Your mommy’s gotta finish you up and tuck you in so…”

“Sing, Feon! Pease!” David’s big blue eyes were imploring with his rubber duck clutched in his little fists. Who could resist? Not that softie Uncle Theon, that’s for sure.

Sansa started giggling, already knowing Theon would acquiesce but pretending to support his decision not to sing. “David, let’s not be so demanding. I know Daddy would sing if he were here but he’s running late getting home from school.” 

“Want Feon sing,” the little boy pouted. 

“Jesus, how do you two ever say no to them?”

“You get used to it.”

“Does Jon really sing?”

“For his kids? You bet your…he sure does,” she amended before she could land herself in debt to the Swear Jar. 

“Your mommy’s got a really nice voice. Maybe she could sing another song?” 

“No, you sing! Daddy not home. Feon, SING!”

“Sing, Theon, sing!” they heard Lyarra call from outside in the hallway, cackling as she headed to her bedroom. 

“How ‘bout you get in here and sing, cheater!” he shouted towards the door. But when David started whimpering, he changed his tune quick enough. “Okay, okay, buddy. I’ll sing.” Like a man being sent to the gallows, he drew a deep breath and began:

_““A duck walked up to a corner store_

_And he said to the woman, running the store_

_"Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?"_

_The woman said, "No, it's a corner store_

_I mean grapes aren't really what we're known for_

_We've got some grape drinks?"_

_The duck said, "They kinda stink"”_

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…who authorized this guy to sing the Duck Song 2? That’s part of my repertoire!”

“Daddy!”

“Hey, man,” Theon said, pounding Jon on the back before he edged out of the suddenly crowded bathroom. 

Sansa jumped to her feet with David in her arms as Jon leaned in to give them both a kiss. “I didn’t know Theon would still be here.”

“Yeah about that…your wife and I have some news for you, Jon. Do you want to tell him…dear?”

Sansa laughed at the scowl on Jon’s face, knowing how Theon liked riling him up. “No, I won’t tell him about our daughters trouncing you at Scrabble.”

“They did?” Jon asked, swelling with pride.

“Traitor,” Theon said giving her a frown. 

“I’m so ashamed,” another voice said…Rhae. 

Sansa had to bite her lip to keep from grinning too broadly at the pair of them standing in her hallway, glancing at each other shyly. 

“What’re you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to my brother and wound up following him home. What’re you doing here?”

“I brought the girls home from practice and she fed me. I think she might keep me.”

“Lucky you.”

“Yeah,” Theon said before he darted forward to kiss his fiancée. 

“Kiss!” David squealed as Sansa hugged him tightly. 

She couldn’t be happier for them. And she thought she might have a good suggestion for their dilemma.

* * *

Mina hustled to David’s room after Mommy had briefed her on the situation. There was a battle of wills underway between two stubborn individuals, one a tired dad and the other a toddler. Clearly, they needed a problem solver to intervene before bedtime led to a big old breakdown. 

“All!”

“You can’t have them all, son.”

“All!”

“I know you love them all but that’s too many for you to safely sleep with. What if you have Snoopy tonight and tomorrow you can have…”

“ALL!”

Jon was pinching the brig of his nose and trying hard not to lose his temper, Mina could tell. David stood at the crib railing in his footed pajamas, facing their dad with an enormous pouty face and clutching far too many stuffed pals to his chest for dear life. Poor David. He just didn’t have a favorite yet and sometimes it was hard to choose. 

Mommy had said that when Mina was little they’d have similar bedtime drama before Uncle Robb had bought her Lady, her stuffed dog pal who was her forever favorite. (She didn't like admitting it to her other stuffed animals though so she'd just told them that Lady barked away scary dreams). Anyway, Lady still slept beside Mina to this day even though she was eleven and had a real dog named Lady. That was okay. Lyarra still slept with her pal Ghost. Even after their real dogs had come to live with them, they’d not given up their stuffed friends. That would be like a betrayal or something. Mina could get as pouty as poor little David if she thought too much about that. 

“Can I help?”

Jon gave her a frustrated, ‘help me’ sort of look and nodded. “Yeah. Did your mom send you in here?”

She hated to hurt Jon’s feelings and make it sound like she and Mommy didn’t trust his ability to tuck David in because obviously he was an awesome tucker-inner. Almost as awesome as he was at bath time silliness and soccer coaching. But…well, Mommy said he was probably tired from his extra long day and whispered that sometimes that made moms and dads a little short on patience. Mina hadn't wanted to hurt her mother's feeling by admitting she'd figured that out a while ago. 

“She did but only because she says I’m the best at the Pal Olympics.” 

Okay, that may have been a slight exaggeration since Mommy hadn’t ever said that. But Mina was the only one who did the ‘Official’ version. Lyarra’s version just involved lots of tossing around of stuffed animals and shouting silly dad songs like 'Raining Tacos' which would make David giggle so hard he’d never settled down. 

“‘Pics! ‘Pics!” David shouted with glee. “Want Mina!”

 _Want Mina_. How cute was that?! Sometimes, not-quite-two-year-old little brothers could be a pain but sometimes, he could melt her heart with how darn sweet he was. 

He was giving her grabby hands, too. He knew the Olympics involved getting out of his crib. He had been puzzling out ways of making his own escapes lately but hadn’t got brave enough to make a full break yet. He’d usually wind up stuck with one leg over the railing and scared so he’d shriek for someone to come save him. _Like the little cat that climbs the tree only to decided it no longer likes the idea._

“Okay, sweetheart,” Jon said, kissing the top of her head and lifting David out of the crib. “Just make sure once the gold medal winner is announced that you let us know.”

“I will.”

“And Mina? Five minutes,” he said with a stern look. 

Man, he wasn’t giving her much of a time table to hold these events! How was she supposed to prepare the different venues for track and field events and swimming and diving? “Okay, Dad,” she said with a teeny-tiny pout of her own. Pouting and calling Jon 'dad' seemed to have an effect on him. Oh yeah, she'd figured that out a good while ago. 

Jon started chuckling and ruffled David’s curls before patting her cheek. “Alright, alright. Fifteen minutes, okay?”

Mina beamed at him and nodded. Jon started to leave but she stopped him. “Do you mind closing the bedroom door behind you?” This was serious business after all. And sometimes, Lady and Ghost got curious and tried to come steal one of the competitors which would cause an uproar.

“Will do,” Jon said and the door was clicked shut behind him.

Mina settled David on the rug in front of the rocking chair where Mommy used to nurse him. She then lined all seven of his current favorites up and said, “Alright, are you ready?”

David nodded, giving her a big grin.

She sucked in a deep breath and did her best narrator's voice. She wished she had theme music handy to make it official-official. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's Pal Olympics! This evening, we’ll hold four rounds of games to determine which of our competitors gets the honor and the privilege of being David Rickon Snow’s Bedtime Buddy for the night. Let's start things off with the 100m Dash after we meet our competitors. Remember in this event…”

“Mina?”

“Yes, David?”

“Want Snoopy win.”

“Got it.”

Mina returned to her commentary even though the winner had already been declared. That was the thing about the Pal Olympics. Just like the real Olympics, sometimes, a competitor was just so phenomenal that the outcome might almost be a foregone conclusion. _But they still hold the events all the same._

 _"_ Alright, everyone...back to our program. Our first competitor hails from Jolly Old England. Put your paws together to welcome Winnie the Pooh!"

* * *

David was asleep after Snoopy had laid claim to victory. Both girls were settled in their rooms reading and not far from dreamland. Jon removed his tie at last, grabbed a Heineken from the fridge to go with his heated up dinner and took a seat with the other three adults at the kitchen table so they could continue their discussion.

They’d planned on keeping things to themselves for a bit to give themselves a chance to ease into things as just the two of them. But, as is sometimes the case, that bubble had popped quickly thanks to Theon blurting out a word in the presence of two very bright girls and Rhaenys having a moment of sentimentality when her mother had called unexpectedly for a lunch date. 

He couldn’t blame either one of them. He’d been eager to tell the world when Sansa had said yes though they had kept it quiet long enough to prepare their daughters first.

“I just didn’t expect to get blindsided this quickly by Dad,” Rhae was lamenting.

Jon wasn’t all that surprised though. He’d known for a long while what an asshole his father could be.

Their final true argument had been over his own wedding plans with Sansa when Rhaegar had pressured him about getting a prenuptial agreement and tried to discourage him from letting his bride-to-be adopt Lyarra. 

With Mina, it was different. Jon would’ve adopted her in a heartbeat but Harry was alive and part of her life so that wasn’t possible. But Val had died when Lyarra was just a few months old and, though his mother and Rhae had tried to fill the gaping maternal void that had left, it had mostly been Jon doing his best to be his daughter’s everything for nearly eight years until Sansa came along. Sansa had been exactly what he’d been missing in his lonely life, everything he’d ever needed or wanted in a partner, a sweetheart and a lover. And as a mom, the same was true of her for Jon’s motherless girl. There’d been no way he was going to quibble over pre-nups or refuse to make things official when it came to Sansa’s status in Lyarra’s life.

The fall-out from that argument had led to his and his father’s final estrangement when Jon had told his father point blank that he wasn’t welcome in his life. It had been painful on one hand but he didn’t regret it. Unlike with Rhae, Rhaegar had been the epitome of an absentee father throughout Jon’s childhood and adolescence, popping up only a handful of times when he’d felt the urge to father his son. Rhaegar’s sudden desire to be grandpa three years ago hadn’t changed the past or Jon’s painful memories of the neglect he’d suffered and it certainly didn’t give him permission to interfere in his grown son’s relationships. 

But, even without comforting a crying sister in the school parking lot earlier, Jon felt a lot of sympathy for Rhae. She was a dutiful daughter and would want to please her parents. And Rhaegar excelled at gaslighting his children and playing the victim when he didn’t get his way. 

_They’ve been engaged for a day and he’s already making this about him and what he wants._

There was one way to make it easier, he supposed. “If it makes things less complicated, I don’t have to be involved or…”

“You don’t have to be some martyr, Jon, and you’re going to be involved. You’re my brother and Theon doesn’t want anyone else to be his best man.”

“Yeah, it’s gotta be you, man,” Theon said.

Well, didn’t that make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Accept that left him with Option B which kind of sucked. “Okay. Then, I can call Rhaegar tomorrow and we’ll…talk.” He couldn’t help grimacing. Goddammit, he didn’t _want_ to talk to him but he would do it for Rhae. 

“No, don’t call him. I respect your choice and I’m not forcing you to eat crow for me.”

“I didn’t say I’d eat anything. I’ll just call and ask him if we can be civil.”

“Yeah but Dad will see it as a victory if you call him and probably act like a prick about it.”

“Fuck him. I’m doing this for you, not him.”

“I’m sure that conversation will go swimmingly.”

“I’m…”

“Stop.” Sansa held up her hands and they both shut their mouths. “We’ll figure that element out later. Let’s get down to basics first. What kind of wedding do you want, Rhae?”

Rhae blinked and started toying with her engagement ring, her dark eyes flickering from it to Theon as his friend smiled softly at her. “I…I want my mom there. I want you guys there and the kids. I want…a dress and music and cake.” She shrugged. “That’s about as far as I’ve got.”

“Okay. Theon, what do you want?”

“Whatever Rhae wants.” 

Jon got his response. He really did. He’d been the same when it came to marrying Sansa. He’d just wanted to be married to Sansa. County clerk’s office or some over-the-top extravaganza, it hadn’t mattered if it was what she wanted. But he also got what Sansa was hinting at. Surely, Theon had a few things he wanted, too. 

Sansa sighed and tried again. “Yes but what else would you like for this very special day in your life?”

Theon shrugged. “Lyarra asked about chicken wings.” Sansa bit her lip in frustration and Theon started cackling. “I’m shitting you. Alright…if we’re having a wedding with guests, it’d be nice if my mom could come and Yara if she can make it.” 

“Of course. I’m sure your mother and sister would want to be there for your big day. But your father?”

“No, no way. Mom will probably say I _should_ invite him for appearance sake but she’d be a nervous wreck if she was forced to be in the same room with him. And, Yara will tell me if I invite Dad, she’s not coming.” 

Yeah, Yara wouldn’t come within a hundred yards of the old man’s presence since he’d shared his thoughts on her girlfriend and sexual orientation five years ago. Quite the cozy family dinner that had been. 

Theon’s father was just too much to believe sometimes, a sexist, racist, homophobic pile of shit hiding under his folksy humor and man’s man persona. 

Jon was well aware of Rhae’s first and last meeting with Balon. He personally would be good with never seeing the man again. _And if I do, I may just lay him out._ He got into enough trouble with the Swear Jar. He’d hate for there to be a Dad Punched Someone Jar. 

It occurred to Jon then that Theon and Rhae had something in common he hadn’t considered before. They’d both been attempting to be the dutiful child to a parent who was hardly worth the effort but, in Theon’s case, he was constantly having his shortcomings thrown in his face by said parent. _Toxic as fuck_. 

“I don’t want him…” Theon glanced at Rhae, taking her hand in his. “I don’t want him near my bride. He doesn’t get to be part of this. For all I care, he can find out when I send him a postcard…at Christmas.”

“Okay,” Sansa said, softly. “What if I made a suggestion then?”

They listened. 

“You’re saying we should elope, Sansa?”

“It’s only a suggestion Rhae, but you once sat at this very table and told me if you ever were to marry Theon, you’d probably elope.”

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I? Huh.”

Theon raised his hand, reminding Jon of an excited student. “I’m all for that! Long weekend coming up at the end of the month. We could go to Vegas! It’s been six years since I last went. Even longer since we went together, Jon. You remember that trip? Holy shit, man! That was…”

Jon gulped and started shaking his head. He remembered their trip to Vegas right after his twenty-first birthday. He remembered parts of it vaguely…and parts of it in mortifyingly specific, technicolor detail. He didn’t think the bride-to-be, much less his wife, wanted to hear about that kind of nonsense when they were trying to plan a wedding.

“But I’m not sure I _want_ to just elope,” Rhae said, giving Theon a pained look.

Theon’s hand met the table again. His shoulders slumped but he nodded. He wouldn’t push her into something she didn’t want, Jon knew. 

“Of course, this is your and Theon’s decision but I didn’t necessarily mean the two of you running off to get hitched in secret. Obviously, there’d be some obstacles to figure out though.”

The pair agreed with her and then said they’d head home to talk it over and get out of their hair. 

Down to his boxers and with his teeth brushed, Jon slipped between the sheets an hour later, grateful that the day was done at last. Sansa came out of the bathroom soon after him with her hair brushed out and wearing her little cami and sleep shorts. Tired as he was, he wasn’t _that_ tired.

“Come here.”

She grinned and turned off the lamp on the dresser before joining him. 

“I’m happy for them,” she sighed as he nuzzled at her ear.

“Me, too.”

“I’m sure they’ll figure it all out.”

“Yeah, they will and we’ll do whatever we can to make it a good day for them.” His words were a bit muffled as he was busy kissing his way down from her ear to her shoulder. He slipped the strap of her cami down to make for easier access. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She nestled closer, her lips brushing his forehead. “What happened at the meeting tonight?”

“A lot of bickering and not much else but got them to agree to fix the playground for us.”

“That’s good. And how was Mrs. Merryweather tonight?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?”

He groaned and slipped the strap back in place. “She was alright.”

“Jon…”

“Sansa, I’m a very happily married man. No matter what she might hint at, I would never be interested.”

“I knew she’d come on to you,” she huffed. 

“Well, that’s because you’re my smart wife.” 

Sansa had expressed some insecurity over the women at school like Mrs. Merryweather in the past. He didn’t know why exactly since there could be no other woman for him but he didn’t want to dismiss her worries off-handedly either.

He cupped her face, bringing them face to face in the dark. “There’s no one but you for me. She was rebuffed as politely as I could manage while being firm. And if anyone asks, you’ve got plans for me every single day of summer vacation.” She snorted. “I nearly mowed Rhae down trying to escape.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

She started giggling. That was better. He toyed with the strap of her cami again. “Sansa? Would you want to…”

She laughed and rolled fully towards him, kissing right under his beard. It tickled but also drove him wild. The strap of her cami came down again and he swiped his thumb across a pert nipple. 

“What happened in Vegas when you were twenty-one?” she moaned. 

“Uhh…what?”

“You don’t have to keep secrets or anything. We didn’t even know the other existed back then.”

“It’s not that. It’s just embarrassing.”

He could feel her grinning against his chest. “How embarrassing?”

“Really embarrassing.”

“Tell me.” She palmed him through his boxers as she said that though.

Deciding he could share anything with her, especially if she’d still let him fuck her afterwards, he began:

“Well, like almost all of my college misadventures…it was all Theon’s fault.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like much of the kid stuff in this series, the Pal Olympics is drawn from my life. Whenever my daughter is permitted to bring a stuffed friend to school for some special fun day, she has major anxiety over choosing just one. So, we came up with the Pal Olympics as a friendly competition to see who would be the winner and go with her. She's older than David so she makes up the games and such but, just like David, she often has a clear favorite from the start who miraculously 'wins.' And since she's well past sleeping in a crib, there's no longer a limit on friends in bed. It's a bit crowded at bedtime these days :) 
> 
> [The Duck Song 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jjcAuEYW9M) *cackles evilly*
> 
> Returning to this family feels very self-indulgent but I want to thank those of you who are willing to read more of them!


	3. Sin City

After their evening at Jon and Sansa’s, Theon and Rhaenys had gone home agreeing to sleep on things and not worry over what they would or would not do regarding their wedding any more tonight.

So, of course, Theon woke up around two and found the other half of the bed empty and the sheets cold.

“What are you doing, baby?” he asked, his eyes still squinty from sleep when he found Rhae in front of her laptop in the living area.

“Just looking at ideas…and I'd like to point out that it’s technically the next day.”

Theon grinned and shuffled over to see what she’d found. His eyes lit up when he saw the word Vegas. Just at quick, he was frowning. “I’m sure as hell not getting married at any hotels or casinos owned by that idiot.”

Rhae snickered. “It’s a pop-up ad but agreed. I was looking at island getaways first,” she added as she closed the ad.

“Oh?”

“The costs ranged from possible to ridiculous but then everyone would have to have a passport etcetera so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to look at Vegas after you got so excited over the idea earlier.”

“And naturally, we’ve got to figure this out in the wee hours of the morning when we’re both working in a few hours?”

“Naturally.” She glanced away from the screen, her dark eyes pleading. “Please? I just wanna dream.”

“Then, I’m dreaming, too. And Rhae?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to be excited about the idea or we’re not doing it.”

“I know. There’s actually some options that look pretty appealing to me. The Venetian offers a package with your own gondola trip around the resort where the guy sings to you even.” 

"Um...wow."

Rhae started cackling at his less than enthusiastic response. "Well, you're allowed one flat-out veto, I guess."

"Excellent." Theon rubbed his hands together and took a seat beside her. “Whoa! A helicopter flight over the Strip while you say your ‘I do’s?’ That’d be…”

“There wouldn't be room for anyone but Jon and Sarella." 

Sarella Sand was Rhaenys’ oldest friend and Rhae was hoping she’d agree to be her maid of honor. She’d moved to San Diego four years ago when she’d accepted a position at UCSD’s Medical Center working in biotechnology. Vegas would be a lot more accessible for her than the Caribbean.

"Was that a veto?"

"No, it's a practical matter...and I'm not a fan of flying."

This was true. They'd flown out to visit his mother last Christmas and Rhae had reminded him of a cat on its way to the vet with the way she'd been clinging to him at takeoff. Helicopters and wedding nerves? Probably a bad mix. 

"Alright, no helicopter weddings.”

“And no underwater ones before you ask because I don't want to drown. That makes it a practical matter and not a veto.”

“Well, I see this is the No Fun Zone,” he snarked before his eyes lit up again. “Ooh! What about…”

“And I'm vetoing Elvis impersonators as part of our wedding ceremony just to get that out of the way,” Rhae added quickly before he could even point at the Graceland Wedding Chapel ad.

“Are there anymore horribly unfair restrictions I need to be aware of?” he asked with mock annoyance, causing her to giggle.

“Just one.”

“What’s that?”

“If we do this, you’ve got to promise to marry me when we get there, you sweet man. I'd hate to fly to Vegas and get dumped for a showgirl with big tits wearing feathers.”

"I'd like to see these tits while you're wearing feathers." She scowled until he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, letting his teeth nip her neck when he continued, “That’s a promise. There's no way I'm ever letting you go.”

* * *

A few weeks later, the girls were playing in the backyard with their friend Beren from next door. They made their way into the tree fort since Dad was going to be mowing the backyard. 

Lyarra passed out the popsicles which she’d grabbed from the freezer. Her father was busy and Mom and David had left a little while ago to run an errand before Grams and Grandad came over for dinner later. 

“Are you sure Jon said it was okay for us to have these?” Mina asked, dubiously. “It’s not too long until dinner time.” 

Leave it to Mina to be worried about getting permission as if Lyarra didn’t know the rules about popsicles and dinnertime. 

“Uh huh. I told him we were hot and thirsty and he told me to grab these.” 

Okay, he _may_ have only pointed towards the fridge where there was a pitcher of filtered water or juice boxes when she’d found him in the kitchen all sweaty and with his Gatorade after finishing with the front yard. But popsicles were a form of hydration, right? 

Mina gave her a skeptical look but, as Lyarra and Beren unwrapped their popsicles, she decided to let it go and they continued their discussion. 

Uncle Theon and Aunt Rhae had come over last night with big news. They’d decided where they wanted to have their wedding and Lyarra couldn’t believe how awesome it was going to be. Of course, it was Theon and her aunt so maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised. They had always been cooler than Dad even though Lyarra would never tell him that. 

“I can’t wait to go to Las Vegas!”

“You’re not going, are you?!” Beren gasped. “Kids aren’t allowed to go there.”

“Who told you that?”

“My grandmother said kids couldn’t go to Las Vegas.” 

Beren’s grandmother had come to visit the Tallhearts for a week...over a month ago. She hadn’t left yet. Lyarra was beginning to wonder if she would. She wasn’t sick or anything but she was as stern and unfriendly as fussy old Mrs. Dustin who taught 4th grade at Chelsea. She definitely wouldn’t consider popsicles as a form of hydration for hot and thirsty kids. 

“Kids can go to Vegas, Beren,” Mina said sweetly. “Maybe your grandmother was mistaken if she’s never been.”

“But she _has_ been there! More than once!”

“Well, maybe she’s not gone in a long time and the rules changed.”

“She just went two months ago with a bunch of her friends! She told me I couldn’t come because kids weren’t allowed!” 

Beren had been duped. Lyarra never liked it when she caught a grownup in a lie but, poor Beren. His own grandmother had been telling him stories. And why wouldn’t the cranky old lady want to take her grandkid with her on her trip to Vegas? Didn’t old people live for that stuff?

“We can go but David can’t. Maybe your grandmother got confused about that part and thought it was all kids and not just babies and toddlers.” 

Lyarra knew that was fib since what Mom and Dad had actually said was that bringing a toddler on this trip wouldn’t be ‘ideal’ and he’d be happier staying with Grams and Grandad but she didn’t want Beren to feel bad about being duped.

“Oh. Well…she called it Sin City, too! Sounds like a bad place to me,” he added with a nod, his big owl eyes daring them to find that anything short of terrifying.

Mina bit at her lip, looking concerned but then declared, “But we won’t be doing any sins. I’m sure of it, will we, Lyarra?”

“Of course not! And if it’s Sin City, why’s your grandmother been there more than once, huh?” Beren shut his trap at that. “Anyway, we’re getting to go with them for our Aunt Rhae’s wedding and my Dad is going to be the best man. We’ll probably have to dress up and it might wind up being kind of boring.” 

She wasn’t sure now if she should tell Beren about the big pool the resort had or the fancy circus Mom was hoping to get them tickets to see while they were there. 

“But there’s going to be pirates at the wedding!” 

She couldn’t leave _everything_ out, could she?

“Pirates?!” 

Beren was so gobsmacked by that he dropped his popsicle. Lyarra passed him hers and then darted down the ladder to fetch another one. Staying hydrated was very important after all.

* * *

“Your mom and David are here, honey,” Sansa called through the shower door.

“Early like usual then? Shocker.” 

Honestly, he didn’t mind but, if you told Lyanna and David Smith dinner was at six, expect them to be there at 5:30 at the latest. His mum wasn’t exactly known for such strict punctuality. She had more of a ‘notion’ of time than anything and called or showed up as the spirit moved her. At least now that they were in the same time zone again, she wasn’t waking Jon up at six on Saturday mornings to talk football. 

David however was punctilious to the extreme. If there was an eighth deadly sin, David would say it was tardiness. He’d once told Jon how he was _almost_ late for his job at Arryn Industries due to some unexpected road work. 

_“Nearly late? We have an expression for that in this country, you know. It’s called on time.”_

His mum had told him to mind his cheek for that but David had laughed anyway. 

“Yard looks good. Are you almost done in there?”

“Almost, love. Wanna help make sure I’m all clean?” 

Utter silence in response to his suggestive tone.

_Guess not then._

He turned off the water and she passed a towel over the door but, when he’d dried off enough to peek out, he saw why Sansa helping make sure he was all clean wouldn’t be happening. She’d departed the room but his son was standing right by the shower door grinning at him.

“Big boy!” David shouted.

“Um…” Jon wrapped his towel around his waist before stepping out. “Hey, Buddy. Where did Mommy go?”

David just kept grinning, now pointing at his feet. “Batman!”

“Oh yeah, those are awesome new shoes with Batman on them.”

“Big boy!”

“Yes, you are getting to be a big boy.” _No! No, you’re not! You’re my baby boy!_ Still, he was an experienced parent and could ‘use the currency’ so to speak. “I’m proud of my big boy with his new shoes and big boys don’t throw their shoes out of car windows, do they?”

David’s little brow furrowed. Bored in the car this morning when Sansa had been driving home from the supermarket, David had taken advantage of a rolled down window to try out his favorite experiment again: what happens when we toss our shoes out of a moving car? 

Preoccupied with driving, Sansa hadn’t noticed. Jon had struck out when he’d driven back through her route after they’d come home and realized the shoes weren’t somewhere in the backseat. David had been inconsolable for ten long, loud minutes when he’d been told they’d gone bye-bye for good. Thus, the trip to the store for mother and son this afternoon. 

“Binky!” he shouted next, stomping his feet a few times to demonstrate.

“Blinking lights, huh? Very cool. Wish they had shoes like that in my size.”

David thought about that for a minute and then threw his little head back and laughed. Too young to catch the sarcasm, he was probably trying to picture his father wearing blinking Batman sneakers as opposed to his usual black and white Adidas Sambas. 

He stomped his feet some more while Jon was quickly finishing drying off and applying deodorant. “Big boy,” David said quietly this time with an adorably proud grin.

“You sure are,” Sansa snickered as she came back in the bathroom giving Jon a playful wink and a swat on his towel-covered ass.

“Hey, you missed your chance, lady.” She pouted. “But maybe later…” he said, leaning forward.

A hand to his chest stopped him in his tracks. “David, go show everyone how your shoes light up again, baby.” 

The little boy hurried off and Jon started smirking. “I knew you couldn’t resist.”

She shook her head at him. “Get dressed, Jonathan. Your mother is here and your grill awaits.”

“You’ve nearly nailed her accent when she says my name like that but I just got clean. I’ll get all smoky and sweaty out there. Can’t we phone in pizza tonight?”

Sansa gasped. She would _never_ feed his mother and step-father pizza when they’d been invited over for a homecooked meal. “But the chicken’s already marinated and I’m making that kale salad your mother likes and the red potatoes you can’t get enough of.”

“The ones with all the butter, garlic and pepper?”

“Uh huh.”

“Fine, I’ll grill the chicken.”

“Thank you. And, for the record, I like you a little smoky and sweaty.” Her hand slipped down from his chest, cupping him through the towel. He groaned before she pulled away. “But not now.”

“Tease.”

Two hours later, everyone had eaten their fill of dinner. The girls were out back with the dogs and playing with the Tallheart kid again. Jon liked Beren a lot but he was over more often since his grandmother moved in and he _had_ danced with the girls at the End of the Year 5th Grade Dance. He’d been Lyarra’s friend for years though and they were all just kids. _Stay kids, okay? No need for the boy next door to become The Boy Next Door anytime soon._

Sansa was getting David’s bath routine started and being assisted by his namesake who had declared it his honor and privilege to accept the role of bath time buddy for the night. David had been on a Winnie the Pooh kick the past few nights. Hopefully, bedtime wouldn’t require a round of the Pal Olympics. _You know, just so my mother and step-father don’t see how thoroughly outmaneuvered we are by our toddler_. 

Meanwhile, Jon and his mother were alone in the kitchen at present finishing clean up.

“Glad the school year’s done?”

“Yeah, it’s nice having the break.” He missed the kids during summer vacation and he had a few more days to go into the office and wrap things up before he’d return in late July to prepare for the new year but he would enjoy his time off. He’d enjoy the time away from Mrs. Merriweather and her ilk as well. 

“Mina asked Sansa if Las Vegas was really Sin City while you boys were outside grilling.”

“She did? What did Sansa say?”

“That is was just a nickname some people used because people gambled there and gambling could be bad if someone did it too much of it and is illegal other places. Mina then confessed that she’d eaten a popsicle before dinner. Poor little thing looked so solemn about it. Sansa and I were trying not to start laughing.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he passed her a sauce pan to dry. “I noticed their green and blue tongues when I was grilling and figured as much. I told Lyarra she’d better eat dinner since she’d obviously had dessert early. She made that cute contrite face and apologized for getting them without permission.”

“I remember your cute contrite face,” she said, ruffling his hair. 

“Mum…”

“Well, I do. I was surprised to see her eat so well since it wasn’t pizza or chicken nuggets.” His mother was well acquainted with her granddaughter’s finnicky appetite. 

“Her appetite’s kicked up some lately.”

“Aw, bra shopping and now a heartier appetite. You’ll have a teenager on your hands before you know it, son.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“She’s still your little girl, Jon. She couldn’t stop talking about pirates during dinner, could she?”

“She was very excited about the wedding news last night.”

“I can see why. But tell me, Best Man…will you be wearing an eyepatch?” Her tone betrayed nothing but a serious question. Her dry wit however was creeping in with the look she gave him. 

“Ha. Ha. Ha. No eyepatches but the Treasure Island Casino does offer a wedding package where you can get married by their pirate show’s captain. Apparently, that was right up Theon’s alley and Rhae thought it’d be a fun way to tie the knot.”

“I suppose so. It’ll be a big trip for the four of you.”

“Yeah, Sansa and I had been talking about the beach but she and Mina are so fair that they burn awfully easily and this should be something different but fun. Never seen the Grand Canyon except when I flew over it once on the way to California and the hotel has a Cirque du Soleil show Sansa’s wanting to see. And we very much appreciate you keeping David for us.”

“Pfft! Say nothing of it! I’m excited to have him all to myself. Cat will be so jealous.”

“Cat will probably be calling to offer relief. After a few hours, you may be ready to take her up on it.”

“Well, maybe but the best part of being a grandmother is being able to spoil them and turn them back over again once your home.” 

“I’ll remember that for when I’m a grandfather then.”

“You’d make a very good one someday, like David and Ned.” Not like Rhaegar went unsaid. “Just not too soon, we hope.”

“God, no.” 

Lyanna had become a mother at eighteen. He’d been a father at twenty-one and Sansa a mother at nineteen. None of them would trade their children for anything but he’d really rather his kids not start quite so young. 

His mother knocked her shoulder against his next. “So, tell me, son…are you going to be asking me to wire you any money to get home from Sin City this time?”

His cheeks started flooding with heat. “No!”

“Are you sure you won’t be reprising your role as…”

“Oh hey, girls! Coming in already? It is starting to get dark, isn’t it?”

The two of them tromped through the kitchen with the dogs like a quartet of whirling dervishes or something, cutting his mother’s flow. Grams loved to embarrass him but he suspected she wouldn’t share this particular embarrassment. ‘Your dad was shitfaced’ is never a good start for any story one is going to share with children. 

Once they’d got their water and headed off to take their own baths, the conversation moved on to Theon, Rhae and their parents. 

“Theon’s called his mother and she’s coming. His sister’s planning to if she can get off work. Rhae’s oldest friend will be there. And then, there’ll be us.”

“And her parents, right?”

“Well…yeah.” 

Rhae definitely wanted her mother there and, naturally, she wanted her father there, too. Unlike Jon and Rhaegar, she’d grown up close to her father even with his prickly personality. They’d had their ups and downs the past few years but Rhae had a real relationship with him. She didn’t want to exclude him from her wedding. She just wanted him to be civil. Seemed like very little to ask but…well, Rhaegar would argue that he was _always_ civil and that it was others who were to blame for any tension. Jon’s jaw started to clench just thinking about it. 

“Has she spoken with her parents about their plans yet?”

He shook his head. “They wanted to talk to us first to see if Sansa and I could swing the trip and all. They’re supposed to be going over there tonight.”

His mother grimaced and said quietly, “I wonder how that’s going.”

Jon sighed and started scrubbing the next pot. “Yeah. Me, too.” 

* * *

“Oh, my God…this is so good!”

“Thank you, Theon.”

“You’re getting this recipe,” he said, elbowing her in the ribs. 

“Excuse you? Am I suddenly going to learn how to cook something more complicated than chili?” Rhae asked with a snort. 

“Fine. I’m getting this recipe. Elia, may I please have this recipe?”

“He says as if _he’s_ going to suddenly learn how to cook anything that doesn’t require a microwave.”

“I may surprise you yet, Targaryen!”

Her parents chuckled and the tension she’d felt initially sitting down to dinner was gone. 

Her mother’s seafood paella was delicious as always and one of Rhae’s favorite dishes growing up. It was comforting her mother making something she loved to welcome her and Theon over tonight so that they could share their wedding plans. 

However, her father saw this as a discussion more than them sharing their plans and was as free with his opinions on it as he had been regarding the Vouvray her mother had paired with dinner. _“This vintage is a little dry, sweet pea.”_

The late June wedding date with only a six-week engagement period raised two sets of eyebrows.

“So soon? You’re not…is there any other special news you both have to share with us, my dear?” her mother asked as tactfully as she could while her father glared at Theon.

“No, Mom. I’m not pregnant.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean…” Elia trailed off at her daughter’s knowing smirk. “Alright, alright. I’m happy either way just so you know,” she laughed.

Theon still got glared at for another full minute though before her father relented and only said that a June wedding sounded nice and traditional but would be terribly hot and humid if they were thinking of anything outdoors. 

Meanwhile, Theon had been too busy chowing down to notice her father’s glare or he was getting really good at ignoring her father’s glares at this point.

 _“I’ll never be good enough for you in his eyes. I get it. Sometimes, I have to wonder how I ever got lucky enough to get a chance with you, too. Plus, I’m Jon’s friend so I suck doubly as far as Reggie sees it. I can live without his good opinion,”_ he’d told her with a shrug not too long ago. 

She’d argued that he most certainly was good enough and she considered herself lucky to have him. Her father would realize it someday and that being Jon’s friend didn’t mean he sucked one little bit. She’d never have met him otherwise. 

Considering how much she’d wanted Balon Greyjoy to like her, she had to admit she admired Theon’s ability to not obsess over the opinions of people who didn’t ultimately matter to him about himself personally, including her father. Oh, her father _did_ matter to Theon in the sense that he was her father. Otherwise, not so much. She could hardly blame him considering he’d heard all about Rhaegar through Jon first and long ago. He was always going to see him through that unflattering (and honest) filter. 

Once the ‘when’s the date?’ question was answered, they asked about the size of the wedding.

“It will be very small.”

Then, her father asked who would be attending just as she’d known he would. 

“Theon’s mother and sister, Sarella and her friend and Jon and his family, of course.”

“Jon and his family. The children, too?”

“The girls will be there but their little boy will be staying here with…his grandparents.” 

“The Starks?”

“No.”

Her mother looked away. Lyanna’s name was rarely spoken in their house which Rhae could understand considering. If Theon ever had an affair (not that she believed that he ever would) and she found it in her heart to forgive him like her mother had done (she wasn’t sure if she could if faith was ever shattered to that extent), she sure as fuck wouldn’t want to hear about the other woman as the years passed. 

Her father’s jaw was clenched. He’d never met David, his only grandson. Maybe this was a horrible idea to bring them together again but Jon had been supportive when they’d spoken last night and with the theme and location, which she still needed to share with them, she’d hoped there would be enough distractions to keep hard feelings at bay for the course of a twenty minute ceremony anyway. 

“And Jon knows we’ll be there and is willing to be cooperative?”

Naturally, her father would make it sound as if Jon would be the difficult party and might drop out when he learned of their expected attendance. “He does. He’s the best man.”

Her father’s lips were pursed but he said nothing more. She only had eyes for her mother though since it was her feelings Rhae took into account more in this instance. Even for the length of the short ceremony, it would be awkward for everyone considering the past. 

As usual, her mother was understanding and gave a genuine smile when she said, “That’ll be lovely, Rhaenys.” 

Next came the budget. The wedding party and size had raised no objections but the fact that Rhae and Theon said they’d be paying for it did.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re my daughter. Of course, I’m paying for your wedding.”

“I’m thirty-six, Dad. We’re paying for it.”

“You’ve got a mortgage and he’s still renting, isn’t he?” he said, pointing a finger Theon's way. Her father placed a lot of value on things like owning real estate. At least she could say that thanks to his tutelage she’d have her home paid off in less than three years which was more than a lot of people her age could say. 

“Theon gave up his place a couple of months ago.” Her father made a subtle tutting sound. _Yes, Dad, we’re living in sin. Oh, the horror_. “We’re doing just fine.”

Her parents had not always been well-off but, since he’d made his money, her father had been quite open-handed. Unfortunately, he saw passing over a hefty check as the equivalent of good parenting and also as a means of keeping control. If you were on the dole, you did as he said and he couldn’t fathom why you wouldn’t want that. But Rhae had been out from under his thumb for nearly ten years now and she sure as hell wasn’t backtracking for the sake of wedding expenses.

“Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to you guys since we’re asking people to travel for this.”

“Travel?” her mother asked, intrigued. 

Time to lay it out. Rhae shot Theon a quick look and received a squeeze to her knee under the table before she told them the whole plan. 

“Very funny, Rhaenys,” her father said with a tight smile. 

“It’s not a joke, Dad. We’re going to get married in Las Vegas.”

Her father dropped his fork with a scoff as Theon shifted uncomfortably next to her. Her mother started twisting her hands together, darting nervous glances between father and daughter. 

_I knew it was a mistake to tell them tonight!_

_Well, when the hell were they supposed to find out?! You couldn’t just say, ‘Surprise! Here’s your plane tickets to Vegas to watch me get hitched!’_

“I, uh…I’ve always enjoyed Elvis Pressley’s music.” 

_Bless you, sweet mother._ Elia Targaryen was a saint. Somedays, Rhae was convinced it must be true for her to have tolerated her father for thirty-eight years.

“We’re not getting married by Elvis, Mom.”

“Oh, thank God,” she murmured under her breath.

“But there will be pirates involved.” _Like a band-aid. Rip it off!_

“Excuse me?”

“What?!”

They looked like a couple of nocturnal creatures on the highway frozen in someone’s high beams as they stared at her. She was going to start laughing before long and that was _not_ going to help matters.

Actually, someone else at the table must’ve had the same thought as her. A snicker escaped…and then a guffaw. Soon, her father was glaring at Theon again as her mother was giving her an imploring look like she hoped her only daughter was about to shout, ‘Gotcha!’ 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Theon said still chortling, damn him. He cleared his throat and she bit her lip because she wanted to laugh, too. “I’m sorry, baby. Uh…Elia, Rhaegar...this is no joke. We _are_ going to Las Vegas to get married. It’s going to be at the Treasure Island Resort and Casino and we are going to have someone in pirate attire marry us but it’s all legit. It’s still a wedding and I’m so excited to be marrying your daughter. We’re hoping you can make the trip out with us.”

“Well, of course, we’ll be there!” her mother exclaimed, gushing now that she’d recovered from her initial surprise. “It’s bound to be fun and I’m sure it’ll…”

Her father’s chair made a horrendous scraping sound across the hardwood as he pushed back from the table and laid down his napkin. “You’d really do this for something as sacred your marriage vows, Rhaenys? Didn't we raise you better than that? I know you've not attended Mass in ages..."

"Neither have you, I'm sure!"

"And he's not Catholic anyway," he said, glossing over her words and still only vaguely gesturing towards Theon as if he was just a mannequin seated at the table. "But are you really going to make your-your-your covenant before God as man and woman in front of some flim-flam Captain Hook caricature?!” 

She loved how religion was something her father only thought of when he was on his moral high horse. And while Rhae would rather have a pleasant relationship with her father than otherwise, she also had his temper and it was threatening to boil over.

_Keep it together._

“I hardly think there’s anything wrong with getting married by someone wearing a costume if the sincerity of the couple speaking the vows is real, Dad.”

“Marriage is not just some whim or game.”

“I know that!”

“I’m sure _he_ thinks this will be a fun way to spend a weekend but…”

“His name is Theon. Why don’t you ever say his name? He's going to be your son-in-law.”

"Rhae, it's alright. We're doing it our way and..."

“I’m only worried about what kind of life the two of you will have together if you’d make a mockery of your wedding day during some drunken weekend in...”

“Who said we'd be drunk?! And if I'm ready to get lit _after_ the ceremony, I have a pretty good idea why! But I assure you, we fully intend to take our vows seriously!” Strangely enough, it was her father’s answering huff that tipped the scales enough for her to add, “Besides…I’m pretty sure knocking up someone else behind your wife’s back is worse than getting married by Captain Hook! Maybe you can go ask the priest for his opinion on the matter though and not lecture me over what the fuck I’m planning for my own goddamn wedding!”

She hadn’t even realized she was standing up and facing her father until she heard her mother’s pained gasped and regretted that outburst. All the same, he'd deserved it. Theon was tugging at her hand, suggesting they go home. Her father was glaring at her for a change as her mother rose and gave a pitiful excuse about seeing to some dessert.

"Mom..." she called to her retreating figure.

"Really, Rhaenys. Was it necessary to wound your mother that way?" 

* * *

The scorching kiss broke off as he started tugging at her top. “Yeah?” he asked in that husky deep voice she knew so well.

David was asleep but she could hear the television in the living room where the girls were watching their movie. She could smell popcorn, too. It was summer and they were eleven. Bedtime wasn’t as early as it once was but that didn't matter at the moment. 

“Yes,” she panted, eagerly. 

They fell onto the bed and he slipped inside her within seconds of her panties being tossed away, his boxers still tangled around one ankle. 

Married for three years, they’d had sex many, many times by this point but it’d been over a week since the last time thanks to her period, the kids and this and that and she never ceased to be amazed by how good this physical and emotional reconnection could feel after any hint of a dry spell. 

In fact, when Jon had come into the bedroom with that look in his eyes, locking the bedroom door and tearing off his shirt with a blunt _"They’re occupied. Let’s fuck,”_ Sansa was the exact opposite of dry in seconds flat. 

“Goddamn, I love your pussy.”

She couldn’t say she minded his coarseness. She might even secretly relish it. There would always be tenderness between them but sometimes you just needed it like this, hard and fast. You wanted it, quick and dirty or anyway your lover could give it to you so long as it was _now_. 

“There…yes, there! Don’t stop. Harder, Jon,” Sansa babbled as he started pounding into her steadily, both desperate to reach their climax. Times like this, neither of them seemed to hold out very long. She wasn’t complaining. 

She let her fingernails trail along his spine as he started suckling at her tits again, the stimulation combined with way he filled her, grunted her name and gave the right pressure to her clit when he ground against her was more than enough to set off that rolling shockwave of release. Fireflies behind her eyelids, the smell of the grill clinging to his skin and complete bliss. _God, yes_. 

A couple of minutes later, his forehead was pressed to hers as they both drifted back to reality. She could hear the girls giggling faintly. She felt like giggling, too. She could still smell popcorn. Actually, that sounded kind of good.

“Fuck, I needed that,” he said, huffing a laugh as he rolled off of her.

"So did I."

"I love you." A quick kiss to her shoulder. 

“I love you, too.” She grinned at him lazily before getting up to go to the bathroom. She was on the pill for now so no condoms to deal with. He was still laying there obscenely naked and stretched out across the foot of the bed on top of their comforter with his dick still wet. “You getting up?”

“Eventually.”

“You’ll be sticky down below, Mr. I-Just-Showered.”

“Maybe you can lick me clean.”

“Still horny, huh?” she laughed, shaking her head at him. 

“Maybe so," he chuckled before making a half-hearted attempt to get up. "Gimme thirty minutes though.” 

“I was going to go watch the rest of ‘The Princess and the Frog’ with them before you came in to surprise me. Might steal some popcorn, too.”

“Alright then. I’ll join you.”

When she came back from the bathroom, he was getting up gingerly.

“Knee?”

He grimaced and nodded. An old soccer injury that still bothered him from time to time…not that it was slowing him down much at thirty-two. Maybe by forty-two, or fifty-two. She didn’t care. She planned on being by his side for all of it. 

His phone pinged with a text. It was lying on their dresser and she was closer.

“Just leave it, love.”

But it was almost ten o’clock. Who was texting this late? She hoped Lyanna and David hadn’t had any trouble after getting home. 

She saw the notification on his lock screen when she picked it up.

 _Shit_.

**Rhae: Why is our dad such an asshole?**

Movie night and popcorn might have to wait a bit for Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know some of you are probably thinking why does Rhae (or Elia) put up with Rhaegar at all? I’ll just say that sometimes people mellow with age and sometimes it’s more like the opposite and they become more difficult to relate to but, when they’re your family, it can be hard to see it fully. As I wrote in the epilogue chapter of A Match, Rhae and Rhaegar will have more periods of estrangement coming before the birth of her daughter starts to help bring them back together somewhat so there won’t be some tidy resolution in this short story and I’m sorry if you were hoping for that. This will never be a Rhaegar redemption story. I do promise that the rest of this story won’t be so heavy though except for maybe one aspect I’m deciding on.
> 
> As for the real Treasure Island in Las Vegas, they do apparently have a wedding package that offers being married by their set-piece ship's captain including another pirate swinging down from the crow's nest to deliver the wedding bands. (And yes, the fact that I'm writing a different story that includes pirates might've influenced my choice of venue 😆)
> 
> Much thanks to those of you reading! ❤️


	4. Vegas Vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over five months since the last update...

A few weeks later (T-Minus 48 hours and counting until ‘I do’), Theon and Rhae had landed at McCarren International and caught a taxi to their destination, the Treasure Island Resort and Casino.

They had both worked a few hours that morning before knocking off early to catch their flight and, while the electronic bleeps and bloops and chatter of excited gamblers might’ve half tempted Theon to check out the casino, they’d agreed to check out the tower suite they’d sprung for first. 

And Theon was very glad they had.

“Yes… _oh, fuck_ …there…”

Rhae was not fond of flying. It was his duty to alleviate all that tension for her post-flight. Also, they were getting married in two days. Though happy about that, it did make one tense especially when you threw in the factor of a jerk for a dad who’d only finally conceded that he’d attend their nuptials in Sin City last weekend and that you would be having dinner with him soon in addition to the rest of the wedding party, some of whom he wasn’t exactly on speaking terms with.

So, Rhae needed this release. It was the least her groom-to-be could do for her. And his woman writhing in his lap, her head resting against his while one of his hands was up her skirt already had this wedding/vacation experience off to a fantastic start.

 _“Theon,”_ she moaned, arching her back and practically sliding off his lap and into the floor with her orgasm. 

“There you go,” he murmured, kissing her temple and looping his other arm more securely around her to prevent a fall. She melted into his side contentedly, humming quietly when he said, “Shall we check out that hot tub next?”

“Yes. I mean, no! We’ve got to get ready for dinner with everyone or we’ll be late. We can’t be late.”

He made a scoffing noise. “We’re the stars of this show, baby. Guests of honor, the headliners. We can be a little late to dinner.”

“My father and Jon in the same room, Theon.”

“Okay, ten minutes.” _Though Jon may kick my ass if he figures out why._

“Ten minutes? Don’t you want to spend more than ten minutes in that lovely hot tub with me?” she cooed, all sultry and teasing. He fucking loved how sultry and teasing she could be.

He brought his wet fingers up from between her legs to their lips, licked her juices partially off them and then pressed them to her lips for her to lick if she would. “I want to spend an hour in there with you. I want to spend an hour inside of _you_. I’ll take ten minutes if that’s all you’ll give me though. Or five. I can be speedy when necessary.”

“Not too speedy though.” She was grinning and he knew he had her. One lick of his fingers and she was pushing him back onto the bed, climbing over him and yanking at his belt buckle. “Five minutes.”

_Okay, fifteen minutes late is not so bad,_ he thought a short time later as they greeted their dinner guests downstairs. 

However, when he saw Jon and Rhaegar standing as far apart as humanly possible by the host stand, he did feel a twinge of guilt. _I’m not a total asshole._

“Theon, there you are!”

“Hey, Mom. We’re sorry to keep you all waiting. There was a mix up with our room and we had to get that sorted and then…”

Hugging his mom, he trailed off with his line of bullshit since Yara was already giving him that look, the Big-Sister-Laser-Beam-of-Truth-Probe. _Always out to get me, I swear._

Jon appeared less than convinced as well. _Like you wouldn’t have been fucking Sansa the second you got to your room if you didn’t have the girls with you_.

And for that matter, Sansa was giving him quite a skewering look. _Holy shit. If looks could kill._

At least no one else seemed to take their tardiness amiss as Rhae’s parents hugged her, followed by Sarella. 

“Uncle Theon? Why couldn’t we go to the cowboy place over here? It’s got barbeque and an electric bull and everything!” Lyarra asked.

 _It’s also got cowgirl waitresses in skimpy outfits, kid, and I figured it’d get nixed if I suggested it._ “Aww, Phil’s is the fanciest place here, Little Squirt. Come on, don’t you want a steak?”

“No.”

“I’ll bet they’ve got some form of chicken nuggets. Let’s head in and find out, shall we?”

His mother was full of nervous chatter like usual. Sometimes, it got on his nerves but he loved her very much knowing she’d always tried to do her best by her kids, tried to shield them from Balon as best as she could manage while dealing with her own shattered nerves and ego thanks to him. She'd been very distressed over him not inviting his father but also relieved, he knew. 

“Hey, Yara. Where’s Gysella?” he asked of his sister's girlfriend.

He got a menacing scowl in return.

_Well, shit._

* * *

“Alright, what’d I do to you?” Theon whispered in Sansa’s ear once they were sitting down. “I missed Yara’s post last week about her break-up and I’m in the doghouse there. Jon’s always quick to be on my ass about anything but why are you angry?”

“Your sister forgave you since you've had a lot going on with the wedding planning, Jon is not that hard on you and I’m not angry with you,” Sansa answered with a sigh. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to show she meant it because Theon was not to blame here and then turned to her daughters. “Lyarra, why don’t you sit between me and Mina? Your dad can sit next to the groom.” 

Gratefully, both girls were happy again and that was what mattered. The trip to see Cirque de Soleil tomorrow was still ahead of them and Sansa hoped they wouldn’t be scouting the audience for a certain silver head. _And please God, don’t let them be sitting near us._

It was not Theon or Rhae’s fault that Rhaegar was the way he was. Granted, they would not be in such close contact with them if not for this wedding and the pair had come downstairs late for the dinner party with smug grins and tousled hair but Sansa would not hold a grudge. _Jon and I would probably be no better if roles were reversed._

But Rhaegar had taken the first available opportunity to make things difficult just as she’d been bracing herself for. Unfortunately, she’d been expecting Jon to receive his father’s petty blows.

 _“We’re going to see the fancy circus here tomorrow night, Grandfather,”_ Lyarra had said sweetly even as the heavy awkwardness of reintroducing them had yet to fade. 

_“Tomorrow night? My wife and I are going, too. It’s a pity your father won’t allow us to sit together there like family but that’s the way he wants things.”_

Poor Lyarra had gasped and looked to her father uncertainly while Mina had been clutching Sansa’s hand, well attuned to and hating the tension in the air. 

_“You goddamn…”_ Jon had barely gotten out as Lyarra’s chin had been trembling before Sansa had yelped, _“Girls! Did you want to see that mechanical bull up close? We’re not eating in Gilley’s but I’ll bet they’d let your dad take you in for a look! Jon, take them to see it!”_

He’d still been seething, ready to explode probably, but he’d gone. Rhae’s friend Sarella and Theon’s sister had kindly gone with them. All five of them had come back in a better frame of mind. 

Meanwhile, Sansa had taken that opportunity to make some things crystal clear to her so-called father-in-law. Her mother had always encouraged courtesy whenever possible but Catelyn Stark wasn’t afraid to be a mama wolf when necessary and neither was Sansa.

_“This behavior will not fly here, Rhaegar. You do not get to make this trip about you and you definitely do not get to hurt my daughters or my husband with your narcissism and gas-lighting bullshit. We’re here for Theon and Rhae but we only have to spend a limited time in your presence this weekend and how limited that’s going to be will be determined during this dinner. If we don’t see you again until the ceremony and never again after it will be fine by me. But if you would like to see your granddaughter for more than fifteen minutes while Long John Silver pronounces Theon and Rhae husband and wife, you’d better watch your words very carefully. You got that, mister?”_

_“I was not meaning to upset Lyarra.”_

Sansa had felt like her head might explode but Elia had stepped in saying, _“Shut up, Rhaegar. For once, just shut up. This is our daughter’s wedding weekend and you’re not ruining this for any of us,”_ and then drug him over to the other side of the waiting room.

Dinner passed with some stiffness. They were a mixed group who didn’t all know each other well but Alannys, Yara and Sarella were nice, the girls were busy whispering about things girls of eleven liked to whisper and giggle over and Theon was good at being charming. Elia was cordial as always. Rhaegar sat sulking for most of the meal. He was quiet at least and when the bill came he insisted on paying.

“Yes, foot the bill. That’s the part you like doing,” Jon said sourly under his breath and Sansa squeezed his knee.

“Can we really go swimming, Dad?” Lyarra was asking excitedly a couple of hours later. 

“Of course, it’s our vacation, baby.”

“But it’s already ten o’clock,” Mina added, looking at them both dubiously. Sansa knew her daughter would not want to break any rules about swimming and every pool they’d ever encountered up until now closed by ten.

“That doesn’t matter in Vegas, sweetheart,” Jon chuckled.

The girls screeched and went tearing off to the water’s edge, jumping in with a big splash while Jon and Sansa took seats at one of the many empty tables. Most people weren’t here for swimming and most families with kids might’ve already called it a night.

“You’re fantastic,” Jon said, shooting her a look when they were good and alone.

“I’m just me.”

“And absolutely fantastic. I’m the luckiest guy in Vegas and I don’t even know if I’ll do any gambling.”

She couldn’t help grinning. “Thank you. If you don’t want to gamble, I think Gilley’s was having a karaoke contest tonight.”

His smile morphed into a scowl. “That is not cool.”

“I would love to request ‘My Heart Will Go On.’”

“Very not cool, love.”

She couldn’t help giggling. She would _never_ tell another soul what Jon had shared in confidence about his trip to Vegas when he’d been twenty-one but she was allowed to tease him a little. “You can punish me later.” 

The scowl changed back into a smile, a devilish one. “Good thing I sprung for a suite.”

“Yes, good thinking on your part.”

* * *

The phone only rang twice and Jon could hear Ghost and Lady barking when his step-father said, “‘Lo?”

“Hello, David. How are you?”

“Oh, Jon! We’re well. David’s sitting on my lap while the dogs make a racket over a squirrel in the garden. He’s quite amused.”

Jon smiled though an ache pierced him. He missed his little boy so much and could picture him in that moment with his bright eyes talking about his blinky Batman shoes and calling himself a big boy. He knew Sansa would feel the same. They'd all Facetimed with him last night. They'd need to do that again once everyone was awake. 

“It’s early there, isn’t it?”

“Um, yeah…just after seven. We let the girls stay up late so they're all snoozing in but I'm up.”

"Hotel room beds."

"Yeah, not comfortable."

"Tell me about it. Your mum wants to know where she should wire the money to.”

“Ha. Ha. You can tell her I haven’t gone on any drunken gambling sprees this time nor have I been forced to dress like Celine Dion and perform karaoke to earn money for food.”

“She told me you came in last place in the contest.”

“It’s a good think I didn’t pursue Music Education since she’s right. But some of the patrons were generous with tips _.” Little handsy though_. That he would not repeat to his step-father. 

“So why did she need to wire you money back then?”

“Because I also lost my plane ticket in the midst of my dumbassery.”

“Oh God.”

“Theon had bought me the bottle of Henny as a belated birthday gift and pointed out the craps table in the first place, okay?”

“So, we’re still blaming Theon?”

“Yes…no. It was me who was behaving like a dumbass.” 

He'd just been dumped by Val, too. He'd been sort of adrift at the time, depressed over his first serious romantic relationship ending which had apparently not been all that meaningful to her and never knowing then that she'd contact him a few months later with news that would change his entire world.

“Everyone has their little moments of wildness, I guess.”

“Did you?”

“Have you met me, Jon? I mean, I know I come across very buttoned-up British but…”

He started chuckling. “Yeah, I’ve seen you when it comes to darts after you’ve had a few. Anyway, my previous trip to Vegas was quite the lesson in the dangers of gambling and overindulging. Is Mum busy?”

“No, she’s right here.”

A bit of rustling and the barks became more distant and then she picked up. “Alright, they’re out of the room. Western Union is still in business if I need to…”

“I’m fine! Christ.” Her chortling would be irritating except he was very glad to hear her voice. “What is it, son? Are Sansa and the girls alright? Are you having a good time?”

“They’re fine and it is a nice get-away but…”

“But?”

“He really sucks, you know?”

“Ugh, I know. I’m sorry.” If anyone knew, she did. 

“He made Lyarra feel guilty about us never seeing him.”

“That ass. I’m going to call him.”

“No, please don’t call. I'm just...I hate when he starts making me feel this guilt."

"You shouldn't feel any guilt."

"I did the right thing for me and for them...right?"

"You did, Jon. Don't doubt it, son."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that again. I guess I'm going to need to hear that off and on forever."

"Well, it's a good thing you've got Sansa and me then."

"We’re taking the girls to Cirque tonight and they’ll be at the same show. I really hope we don’t run into him.”

“I hope not either.” 

* * *

Mina’s head whipped this way and that watching the acrobats on stage and in the air. How was this even possible?! She loved it though. 

Even without animals, it was better than any circus she’d ever seen. Maybe even better without animals because she always wound up feeling sorry for them living in cages and forced to perform silly acts for people when she was sure they’d rather be free to do what they liked. But these people…wow. They were so talented. 

When the show had started initially, she’d been worrying over where they would be seated because she’d been worrying over where Mr. and Mrs. Targaryen would be seated. Mom had said not to worry and that it was a big auditorium but that was impossible for Mina. She could tell Jon was stressed about it and her mother was as well. Of course, she was going to be stressed. 

But once the show started, she’d been mesmerized by the performance. With the smell of buttered popcorn in the air, the darkened theater and amazing feats of balance, agility and gymnastics, Jon’s grumpy father was forgotten for a time. It was like a magical spell and she thought Beren's worries over Sin City were pretty silly if there were cool things like this here. 

At intermission though, the lights came back up and Mina was startled to find herself looking right into those strange purple eyes, three rows away. 

“He’s here,” Lyarra whispered.

She looked to her sister who’d not said a peep about her grandfather since last night but clearly, she’d been thinking of him. 

Mina slipped her hand into Lyarra’s and said, “I know. Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

Lyarra nodded slowly so Mina said something to their mother for them. Of course, Mommy wasn’t going to let them go alone and she was well aware of his presence, too. 

“My stomach hurts,” Lyarra said when they’d made it to the bathroom. 

Mina and Mommy exchanged a look. Yeah, Lyarra could just have a stomach ache (in other words, she might be gassy from the chili burger she ate at lunch) but they both thought they knew the reason behind this one. 

“Mina? Do you feel comfortable enough going back out to join Jon while I stay with Lyarra a few minutes?”

Mina nodded. She knew Mommy would help Lyarra feel better and it would probably be easier without Lyarra feeling self-conscious about her being right there. Plus, Jon might need her since he’d stayed at their seats. She hoped no fighting was happening. 

There was no fighting. Instead, she found Rhae’s mother talking to Jon and Mr. Targaryen nowhere in sight. It seemed friendly although there was some lingering tension. 

“These are spares if…if you’d want them.”

“Thank you, Jon. We’d both love to have them,” Elia Targaryen said kindly as she tucked something Jon had handed her into her purse. “Oh, Mina, that’s such pretty color on you,” she said when she spied her.

“Thanks,” Mina replied, pleased. She did love her blue dress she’d worn to the 5th grade dance last month. Parker had said it was pretty on her, too. 

Mrs. Targaryen slipped away and Jon put an arm around her. “Are you enjoying this, sweetheart?”

“Oh, yes! The acrobats are so cool! Do you think I could do gymnastics again?” she chirped before trying to think of what a more grown-up reply might be. “But are _you_ enjoying it?” she asked him seriously. 

He grinned at her serious question like she’d said something cute. She _was_ being serious. “The show? Yeah, it’s really cool. I don’t see a reason why we couldn’t let you give gymnastics another go if you like. I never saw anything like this when I was here last time.”

She had asked Jon about his previous trip to Las Vegas on the way out here, mostly to distract herself from the flight. Flying still made her nervous. He’d said there had been lots of poor choices made and she’d nodded sympathetically. That had been before he’d had Mommy to help him make smart choices after all. 

“What’d you give her?” she asked next, tilting her chin towards where Mrs. Targaryen was now seated with Mr. Targaryen again. 

“Some of those pictures we had made of you three at Christmas. They, uh...they wanted a picture of you all. I gave her a more recent one of David I’d meant to give Brienne. I’ll have to print it again for her.”

Pictures. Jon had given his father’s wife pictures of his grandchildren, the grandchildren he never saw. It made Mina terribly sad to think of it. She wasn’t sure why. 

Grandma Cat and Grams had pictures of them everywhere in their houses. Even Grandma Anya had multiple ones of Mina and one on her mantle of all three of them. Mina was very blessed to have so many absolutely wonderful grandparents in her life but it bothered her that her family had this troubled part to it. Yes, the fact that her mother and biological father had never worked out as a family might’ve troubled her once upon a time but Jon made Mommy so happy and at least her daddy and Mommy got along now. 

But Jon and his father were…broken. She wasn’t a little kid anymore and knew there were families who had far more broken parts than this but she still wished she could fix it for him. 

“Jon, why do you hate each other?”

His dark eyes looked pained as he turned to face her again and she wished she hadn’t said it. _Stupid. Should’ve just stuck to talking about the show._

“We don’t hate each other, Mina. Not really. He’s my father. He just wasn’t a very good one. In fact, he really wasn’t a good dad to me at all.” 

“I know.” She did know that. He’d said something similar before and she felt so sorry for Jon over it. He deserved the best dad because he was one of the very best dads ever and she could cry just thinking about it. She hated all the pain this caused him and that it was causing Lyarra pain tonight.

“Is Lyarra alright?” he asked as if he was thinking along the same lines. 

“She said her stomach hurt. Mom’s talking to her.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “If she wants to leave, I may take her back to the room and you and your mom can see the rest.”

She didn’t want Lyarra to miss any of the circus. That would be so unfair. 

“Mina, I don’t want you worrying over us, sweetheart. What’s wrong with us is something that can’t be readily fixed but it’s okay. I’m never going to be close to him and I’ve accepted that. It was the best choice for me personally to tell him so a few years ago.”

“Was that hard?”

“Oh, yeah. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done but I don’t regret it because I felt like it was the best choice for my kids at the time, too.”

“Your kids?” she probed, curiously.

“Yeah, you and Lyarra. David wasn’t coming along yet but…well, I guess I was thinking about future kids then, too. Someday, you guys may decide differently about what kind of relationship you’d like to have with my biological father and that’ll be your choice but I’m very proud to have David as my step-dad and I’m glad to call your grandpa my father-in-law.”

“Me, too. Glad to have Granddad and Grandpa. And, I don’t want to spend time with Mr. Targaryen if he’s hurt you, Jon.” She thought of something else that hadn’t occurred to her before in the middle of all the excitement over traveling to Sin City. “You must love Aunt Rhae and Theon a lot to come be here knowing you’d have to spend time with him, too.”

“I do. I love them both very much so it’s not such a hard thing to bear for a short time for people I care about.”

Mina thought about that and about all the ways Mommy and Jon would do almost anything for them, anything that mattered. _"There's so many things you'll do for love, baby, that you wouldn't otherwise bother with,"_ Mommy had once told her. _"It's one of Love's mysterious powers, you could say."_

“Daddy once tried to make lemon cakes like Mommy’s. They were terrible but I ate them and said he’d done a great job.”

Jon started laughing. “Yeah, that’s kind of the idea. Not that we should lie but that sometimes we put up with things for the people we love. He’s Rhae’s dad and her parents are here to watch their daughter get married. I can put aside hard feelings for a little while.”

She hugged him tight then because Jon really was so dear to her it made her heart squeeze. "I love you, Dad."

She felt his arms tighten around her and he whispered that he loved her, too. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched and thanked her for being so amazing. Mina thought she could soar like those acrobats just from his words.

By the time Mommy and Lyarra had returned from the bathroom, she was already forgetting about Jon’s father again. The lights were dimming and Lyarra slid back into her seat next to Mina with Jon on the other side. 

“I’m looking forward to the second part, aren’t you?” Mina asked her sister.

“Yeah. Me, too,” Lyarra said, giving their mom a secret sort of smile on the other side of Mina. That was okay because Mina was giving Jon a similar smile. They were a family who had each other’s back. Jon called them a team and they were. “I miss Little David, don't you? I don't know if he could sit still for the whole thing but I think he’d kind of like this.”

“Oh, yes! He would.” 

If he loved the Pal Olympics, he was bound to love all these people defying gravity up in the air. His eyes would get all round and he’d giggle. Rats. Now she was missing her little brother something terrible. 

But when the music started up again, she forgot about that as well and got swept away in the show while picturing herself as one of the graceful acrobats high above the stage.

* * *

Rhae had had a full morning of pampering at the resort spa with their mothers and Sarella. Then, Theon had spent some time with his mom and Yara playing a quick round of golf while Rhae had had lunch with her parents. Yara had asked if Sarella was single since she was currently between relationships, too. He’d shrugged and said he could ask, wondering if his sister was really over Gysella that fast or if she was just looking for a little Vegas excitement…not that he could begrudge her that.

They’d all met up in the lobby with Rhae soon after and Yara had knocked her shoulder into his. _“You’re really head over heels for her, aren’t you?”_

_“Damn straight, I am.”_

The rest of the wedding party had gone off to do some gambling or sight-seeing as they pleased (Jon and his family were already off somewhere as a quartet) while the happy couple had decided to forego the slot machines and make the most of that hot tub on their room.

 _Head over heels and happily laid man, right here_. 

The electronic bleeps and bloops from the slot machines behind him were accompanying Theon on his second round at the casino bar when Jon appeared that later that night (T-minus eighteen hours and counting.) 

“How was the show?”

“Terrific. Mina wants to be a trapeze artist now.”

“Cool. See your dad there?”

“Yeah but I only spoke to Elia.”

“I’m sorry, Jon.”

Jon asked the bartender for a Heineken and waved Theon’s words away. “It's fine. I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry,’ Theon. I want a beer and then I want to hear what you’d like to do for your last night as a single man…so long as it doesn’t involve prostitutes, getting wasted, gambling away my kids' college funds or me singing.”

“Killjoy.”

The beer arrived and Jon knocked his bottle against Theon’s glass. “Okay, it’s not Adventure Station but I’m sure we can find something to do here in this boring old tumbleweed town for a night.”

“Oh, you’re right about that. I’ve got the perfect thing actually. Yara lined it up for us.”

“Yara?”

“Uh huh. Said she'd meet us there if you don't mind company, Best Man.”

"Mind? She's your sister, I don't mind. You're marrying mine. I can spend your stag night hanging out with yours. Where is Rhae anyway?"

"Her and Sarella had plans."

"Okay. So, where are we heading?"

"You'll see." 

Despite his Facebook Fail, Yara had set them up. It helped that she had close friends in the National Women’s Soccer League and had made friends with some members of the Seattle Sounders in turn, one of whom knew a guy with the Las Vegas Lights and…well, basically, they found themselves at Cashman Field fifteen minutes later.

“Holy shit,” Jon gasped. “Are we the only ones here?!”

Theon looked up at the blazing lights and down at the perfectly manicured grass playing field. “Not the _only_ ones here but pretty close. The field’s all ours tonight. Figured we could take some shots on goal. Play a little keeper/shooter match or something. I mean, it’s probably kind of lame but…”

“Lame?! Are you kidding?! Is this your stag night dream come true or mine?!” 

Theon couldn’t keep the giddy grin from spreading all over in the face of his friend’s excitement. They needed a break from the hotel and the wedding talk and Jon’s sucky father. 

They needed a break from the ghost of Theon’s blissfully absent one, too. Balon hadn’t seemed to care when Theon had called and said he was getting married in Vegas, just wished him luck and asked if he was sure he knew what he was doing. Beyond that, he’d been ignorant of the wedding planning or party and Theon preferred it that way. 

"There you two are," Yara said, coming out from under the bleachers. "Got us some balls. You got on decent shoes, Snow?"

"Yeah, sure do."

"Let's go then." 

Tonight, Theon, his sister and his best friend could have a little escape playing the sport they loved (well, messing around at it since they were all past thirty and far from their prime playing days). It was funny to think that soccer was the first thing Jon and Theon had initially bonded over as two eighteen year-olds back at their university but oftentimes the best friendships are built on simple shared interests. Honestly, soccer had been the start of Lyarra and Mina's friendship. Simple things were truly the best. 

“So, was that better than karaoke?” Theon asked mockingly as the three of them strolled back into the casino at one a.m.

“Well, I’m sure if you want to sing a song or two, we could find you a stage somewhere in this town, Theon,” Yara snarked.

"No, not me. Jon's the singer here. He'd have the ladies and gents sticking 20s in his waist band again."

"Theon..." he warned before trailing off and looking completely gobsmacked. 

“What?”

“It’s your…um…”

Theon turned to solve the mystery. And sitting right at the bar where he’d been less than three hours ago was…

“Dad?!”

"Son of a bitch! There you are, boy!" Balon bellowed loud enough for the half the room to hear. "I thought you said you were at the TI!"

"Dad, what are you doing here?!"

"I had some vacation time due and figured I may as well come to see you get hitched," his father said cheerily before tipping back another tumbler of whiskey. "Oh...hello, Yara," he added when he realized his daughter was there as well. 

Yara didn't reply. Just gave a disgusted huff and strode away.

"Well, she still hates my ass, I see. Hey, Jon. Not seen you in ages. Say, Theon, which room is your mom's, huh? Figure I need to give Aly and heads up that I made it."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this. I think if I add any more to this series it will have to be occasional one-shots because doing multi chapters in this verse seems to leave me stumped after the original story. Anyway, thanks very much to those of you who have read and encouraged me with this one *blows kiss* and I'll do my best to finish it soon.


	5. Wedding Bells

“I cannot believe this.”

“It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it?! Rhae, my sister doesn’t want to be in the same room with him. She’d prefer not to breath the air in the same time zone as him. My mom is going to be more jumpy than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs if he’s there.”

“Then maybe she shouldn’t have been posting about it on Facebook?” she asked, sardonically. He looked up at her with such pitiful puppy dog eyes. “Sorry. I know your mom didn’t mean to spill the beans.” _Even if she did. And why the hell is she friends with him on there?_

Honestly, if her parents had divorced at some point, Rhaenys wondered what her mother might’ve been like over the years towards Rhaegar. Would she have locked him out of her life or still let him in for some things? Would he still have some strings he could pull like Balon did with Alannys? 

What mattered right now though was getting through this wedding without too many hard feelings marring their day. _Don’t we deserve that? Can’t we be a little selfish and not let others ruin our wedding?_ Actually, that didn’t sound so selfish at all.

“Okay, look at it this way. My father is here, your father is here. Maybe they can be awful together in a corner somewhere and leave the rest of us alone, hmm?”

“I know but I don’t want him here at all. I don’t want him around you and I don’t want to listen to his bullshit and I don't want to hear how I'm a failure on my wedding day.”

“First of all, you're not a failure, Theon. Not even a little bit."

He gave her that wry smile of his, the one that always got her engine purring. "Oh yeah?"

"Not one bit." She gave him a similar smile right back, one that seemed to work him up as readily. "You're getting to marry me after all."

"Good point."

"Then, I guess that leaves you with limited and unpleasant options, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he huffed before standing up to give her a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be back, okay? Wait up for me?”

“You got it. Sure you don't want me there?”

"Nah, I can do this on my own."

* * *

The girls were asleep but Sansa never could rest easy in a hotel room, especially when her husband wasn’t by her side. It was a nice suite but there were still enough irregular sounds from other guests that could be heard through the walls and above to keep her awake.

So, she already had her eyes open when Jon slipped into the room after his night out with Theon. He walked over to the bed and touched her hand as if he knew it.

“Talk?” he asked gruffly.

“Sure.”

His soccer plan had been a success as she’d hoped. But his other news was not welcome.

“He’s basically crashing the wedding?!”

“I guess. Theon just texted me that he’s going to go talk to him. I offered to come for support if he wanted. You know, like you and he did for me when Rhaegar and I had our chat.”

She remembered. It had been an uncomfortable experience to say the least but she hadn’t wanted Jon to have to face that conversation alone and neither had Theon.

“What’d he say?”

“Said to get some rest and practice my Best Man speech.”

“What do you think he’ll do?”

“I don’t know. Their relationship is not the same as mine and my father’s. It’s not a good relationship. It’s toxic, frankly, and Balon is an asshole but they do communicate some. It's just that this is _their_ wedding. It shouldn’t be…”

“It shouldn’t be overshadowed by assholes.”

“Exactly.”

Sansa thought about the upcoming day. Rhae and Theon were due to be married by Captain Silver near sunset. The whole pirate theme had made her chuckle when they’d shared the plan but…

_Pirates…hmmm._

“Let me know what Theon decides he wants, okay?” she asked Jon. “I’ve got an idea for making sure there’s no interruptions if necessary.”

“Okay. What are you plotting, love?”

“Plotting? You think I'd be involved in some diabolical plot involving a wedding?!"

"Well, now I'm intrigued at what diabolical plotting you _could_ do."

"I'm not plotting anything. I'm planning ahead for certain contingencies."

"What are you planning ahead for then?"

"This is Vegas. Lots of bars and lots of bouncers around. I’ll bet some would even moonlight as pirates if need be.”

He started grinning and nodding as she explained her idea. 

* * *

_“Not welcome?! At my own kid’s wedding?!”_

_“I would like to say I’m sorry but you’ve kind of made this-”_

_“Well, ain’t this a kick in the nuts!”_

His father had stormed off at that point and left Theon feeling lower than dirt for a bit. _Why am I feeling bad though? He's the one who's always such a jerk?_

Of course, Rhaenys had the cure for that. 

_“Baby…you don’t have to,”_ he’d croaked as she was sliding down under the covers. 

She’d grinned up at him, dark eyes flashing. _“But maybe I want to. You’re not complaining, are you?”_

_“No! No, uh…fuck. No way.”_

So despite the long night, Theon woke up pretty chipper on his wedding day. This amazing woman was going to marry him. He was luckier than any high-roller in Vegas. His dad would always be who he was and, thankfully, there was usually three hours distance between them. 

Rolling to his side, he curled his body around Rhaenys who hadn’t woke up just yet even with the desert sunshine in June already squeezing in around the blackout curtain and blinds. He inhaled her scent and held her, waiting for her to start to stir. 

“Hey,” she said softly in that sleepy morning voice.

“Hey back. I’m marrying you today.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek and could feel her face pulling into a grin. 

“Sure you’ve not got some cocktail waitress or stripper you’d rather run off with?” 

“Positive. I buying you one of those feathery get-ups though for the honeymoon.”

“I’d wear it for you…once anyway.”

“I love you, Rhae.”

“I love you, too.”

“To have and to hold and all that, right?”

“All that,” she sighed, twisting so she could give him a quick kiss on the mouth. “Shower time.”

“Nah…hot tub time. We don’t have anywhere to be until noon. We’re making the most of this day before we even say ‘I do.’” 

* * *

Like a hundred times before, a morning kiss had turned into a caress. A caress had turned into a little groping. It didn't matter how long they were married, Jon didn't think he'd ever take these moments for granted. So, lots of groping and kissing had followed and now he was hard and she was getting wet. Only one place for this to lead, right?

“Jon, the girls...”

“They’re in another room just like when we’re at home.”

“But they’re right outside the door.”

“Watching TV. Come on. Hotel sex is a thrill for us old married folks with kids.”

She snorted. “We’d have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet. Can you though?” 

She smirked at him. He probably couldn't be completely quiet but they both knew he'd be quieter than her. He told her as much. 

“Of course, maybe I’ll just cover your mouth, love. You seemed to like that when we went at it in the garage that time...” 

Her eyes widened, pupils dilated and her nostrils flared with desire. Still, she looked unsure. 

“Yes or no, Sansa? If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

“I want to. I’m just afraid we’ll get interrupted.”

“All the more reason to get started at once.”

And they’d just got down to bare skin, when naturally…

“DAD!” 

Both adults sighed and Jon yanked his shorts back on as Lyarra knocked at the door wanting to know if they could order room service.

The girls were standing there looking hopeful and holding up the menu. “Please, we’ve never had room service before.” 

“It sounds so fancy,” Mina chimed in.

“It’s the same food as downstairs except they bring it up to you. There’s a ridiculous surcharge and you’d probably just eat a chocolate muffin anyway which we can grab on our own and-”

“I wouldn’t mind laying in bed a little longer,” Sansa said from behind him. 

He looked back over his shoulder and when their eyes met, he knew he’d gladly be ordering room service. “I’ll, uh…okay. You girls tell me what you want and we’ll call it in. We’ll need you to listen for the door so stay on the other side of the suite though…and watch television to pass the time!”

He clambered back into bed once they’d given their orders and went shrieking off with excitement over food being delivered and after he'd closed and locked the bedroom door again.

“You’d think we never have pizza delivered or anything.”

“They’re enjoying the get-away.” And just as he’d picked up the hotel’s courtesy phone and dialed Room Service, she pushed the covers back down, exposing her tits. “We should enjoy ourselves, too.”

Licking his lips, he mouthed the word ‘fuck’ just as someone picked up. “What am I ordering for you, Mrs. Snow?”

“Muffins, juice…” She licked a finger and then idly circled one of her nipples with it, the minx. “Strawberries and cream.”

He could hardly spit his order out fast enough. 

* * *

Okay, her dress shoes were pinching some. She had relented about wearing a dress since it was a fancy occasion (someday though, Lyarra was going to outlaw them from her closet) but this wedding was clearly the most awesome thing ever. 

Not only was there a pirate in charge of the talking part and one who swung down from the crow’s nest to give Dad the ring to hand to Uncle Theon, there was even the promise of a potential action scene!

 _Captain Silver warned us after all_.

He started off the ceremony with a glare and a growl about any who would dare sew discord during this peaceable affair.

“We’re here for a wedding, mates, and we won’t be tolerating no shenanigans from scurvy dogs. If you’ve got your just cause, now’s the time to speak but otherwise, you’d best be as silent as the grave lest we have to send you down to Davy Jones’ locker, you savvy?”

And to back him up, there were a slew of rough and tough looking pirates sitting among the wedding guests. One of them even waved to Mom! Lyarra had no idea how she knew them but no one would look at her mother and believe she rubbed shoulders with such swarthy sorts. She couldn’t wait to tell Beren about when she got home. She pulled out the little disposable camera Grams had picked up at the pharmacy for her before they left and snapped a picture of some of those guys…for evidence. 

Anyway, the rest of Captain Silver’s crew added to the ambiance. That was probably the grownup sounding word for it. Whatever, Lyarra loved it. 

And Aunt Rhae looked so happy and pretty walking down the aisle in her ivory sleeveless dress. Rhae’s mother was crying but they looked like happy tears and even her grandfather was smiling which Lyarra would count as something close to a miracle since he’d looked so grumpy most of the time she’d seen him here. 

Speaking of smiles, Uncle Theon looked completely dopey he was smiling so much which didn’t surprise Lyarra since she knew very well he was a goner for Aunt Rhae. Dad leaned forward to whisper something in his ear right before Aunt Rhae reached them and they both grinned. 

Once the actual ceremony part got going, Captain Silver sounded suspiciously like any other person officiating a wedding and there was a lot less ‘avast’s’ and ‘me hearties’ thrown in. 

But then…

“Oh my chicken nugget,” Mina whispered worriedly beside her.

Lyarra rolled her eyes because Mina had started saying that recently thinking it was cooler than ‘oh my gosh’ but wouldn’t cost her anything to the Swear Jar. Unfortunately, it also made Lyarra think of chicken nuggets and she was hungry. She hoped Uncle Theon was joking about oysters and caviar being on the reception menu. 

But none of that mattered at the moment because she realized what had made her sister speak. A door at the back of the room had banged open and some old, greasy-haired dude dressed wearing a cowboy hat and one of those funky little cowboy-style ties swaggered in. Were they mixing genres here or something?!

The man came in staggering saying something about how he was sorry he was late. They weren’t getting married by a cowboy!

The whole wedding party up by Captain Silver looked mad or shocked. Theon’s mom looked like she was going to be sick. Theon’s sister stood up and looked ready to punch someone but then Dad and Mom exchanged a look and Mom snapped her fingers and BAM! All those burly pirate dudes sitting with them jumped up and went into action. 

“Sugar honey iced tea,” Lyarra whispered in Mina’s ear. “We’re getting a freaking action scene with this wedding!”

Wide-eyed, Mina stared back at her and nodded. 

In no time, the cowboy dude was whisked back out the door, his muffled protests being carried off with him. Captain Silver asked if Rhae and Theon needed a moment before they resumed. 

Both looked at each other and slowly shook their heads. “No. Please continue. We're getting married,” Theon told him.

Lyarra heard her grandfather grumbling about the cowboy ridiculous craving for attention and having no common decency by trying to make a special occasion revolve around them. Mom quietly snorted into her hands at that and then put an arm around the girls.

“You two okay?”

“Yeah,” Lyarra answered. “This is awesome.” 

* * *

“How are you holding up, Mrs. Greyjoy?” Sansa asked her when they had a moment, one on one, at the little reception that followed.

"Well, my dad is behaving...today. And Theon's dad tried to crash our wedding but failed. So basically, I'm fantastic, thanks to you.” 

“I just asked around and made a couple of phone calls.”

“Well, you spared us more of a scene than either of us wanted and…” She glanced down at the band around her finger. “…I couldn’t be happier today, Sansa.”

"I'm so glad for that. And just remember, all of us are going home tomorrow so you can enjoy your honeymoon in peace." 

"Is it rude if I say 'Thank God!' at this point?"

"No," Sansa answered, laughing. Then, she gave her a hug since the servers were bringing out champagne and sparkling juice. “I’m going to take a seat since it looks like it’s time for Jon to start the toasts.”

Rhae nodded as Theon rejoined her after speaking to his mom and sister. Despite Balon’s little attempt to crash the wedding, everyone was rolling with the flow. Sometimes, that’s really all there is to do in life. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. And while they both had family members that could make things difficult at times, they had some pretty terrific ones, too.

“You okay?” Theon asked her, daring to kiss her neck swiftly. 

It made her shiver even as she teasingly replied, “I’m married to you. I’m probably far from okay.” He snickered and raised an eyebrow. “No, I’m wonderful. I love you.”

“I love you, too. More than anything. Even with our crazy families and all of it, there’s no place I’d rather be right now.”

She felt her eyes getting misty and then there was Jon standing up with a glass in hand to get everyone’s attention. She swallowed hard and prepared for what her little brother had to say on this occasion. She didn’t think Jon would attempt to rap like Theon had at his wedding. 

“Hey, Everyone. I promise I’m not going to hold up the food but for a minute or two but I wanted to say a little something about our newlyweds. Rhaenys, I know we didn’t meet until we were teenagers but I hope you know how grateful I am to call you my sister and that you’re without a doubt the best one I could ever ask for. And Theon…I met you my first semester at college and even being an Arsenal fan, I thought you were okay." That got some chuckles. "But never in my life did I think back then that we might somehow wind up related one day but I couldn't be prouder to call you my brother. I wish you both every happiness.” He raised his glass and finished with, “To Rhaenys and Theon!”

It was enthusiastically echoed by their other guests and Rhaenys was grateful for waterproof mascara as she hugged her brother and then laughed when Theon kissed him…right on the lips.

“Theon! For fu-”

“No cursing at my wedding, dude! Swear Jar rates are tripled and all go towards our honeymoon gambling kitty.” 

“Who made up that rule?” Jon scoffed.

“Your wife,” Sansa answered from the other side of him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I think they’re ready to serve the food.”

“Excellent,” Theon said, clapping his hands. “Bring forth the Spotted Dog, hard tack and grog!”

“Uncle Theon? What are we really having to eat?” Lyarra asked worriedly from down the table. 

“Pizza and chicken wings, squirt. Gotta make my two favorite eleven-year-olds happy, right?”

That was greeted more cheers. 


End file.
